Breed Out the Ugly Challenge – Chapter 3: Butt Sparkles

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Hello, and welcome back!

The Gross family has a lot on their plates right now. Melody’s now in her third trimester of her second pregnancy, and could go into labor at any second. On top of that, with Iris getting older, it was necessary to make some changes to the house. Now she has her very own empty room!

Happy birthday, kid! Hope you don't mind sleeping on the floor.

Happy birthday, kid! Hope you like sleeping on the floor.

Eventually this room will be a bedroom, but Melody ran out of money. Iris doesn’t mind, so much. Gloomy child that she is, she finds it peaceful. To her, the room represents the vast emptiness that she feels growing inside her with every passing day.
…Anyway, here’s a view of the outside! 😀

This photobomb brought to you by D-Lo.

Complete with awkward photobomb.

Wait a minute. Is that…? Oh my god.

WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

That’s right, it’s Iris’s dad and Melody’s jilted lover, Don Lothario. You’d think that after Melody’s all of trash talk, he wouldn’t come within a five block radius of her. What’s he up to? Come to wish his little girl a belated happy birthday, perhaps?
Well, let’s not disappoint him. Melody can’t be bothered to talk to him, so she sends Iris to answer the door.

“Hi daddy! I’m Iris. My mommy told me to tell you that your mommy is a llama.”

After talking for a while, Iris is feeling playful and can’t resist the urge to impishly pester her dad.
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But despite her bratty behavior toward him, they’re actually quite fond of each other. It’s really pretty cute.

Cue Full-House-studio-audienece-style

Cue Full-House-studio-audienece-style “Awwwww.”

But their heartfelt hug is interrupted by a cry from the bedroom. Melody has gone into labor!
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She heads to the hospital, leaving Iris at home with daddy D-Lo. To her dismay, she has to deal with the same lazy front desk assistant as last time.

DO YOU NOT SEE THE LINE FORMING??

DO YOU NOT SEE THE LINE FORMING??

The rest of the hospital staff is just as infuriatingly unavailable. They’re just standing outside the hospital, staring a blissful, empty stare, without a care in the world. Let’s forget about all those sick people, all those babies that need delivered for a moment. Let’s just take this moment to simply be. Surely that woman whose water just broke can wait another half hour or so.

I wish this moment would never end.

I wish this moment would never end.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity of standing around doing nothing, the doctor leads Melody to the torture birthing machine for another round of prodding. A peek at her monitor reveals what I’ve suspected all along – It really is an arcade game!

I knew it!

I knew it!

After the stork graphic successfully drops its bundle, a green bassinet appears on the screen, and at the same time, a real one appears next to the creepy baby extraction device.
It’s a boy! Melody names him Milton, because she hates him, apparently.

Honestly, I just clicked the randomize button, and it was the first name that came up. And I said out loud to myself,

Honestly, I just clicked the randomize button, and it was the first name that came up. And I said out loud to myself, “YES.”

Little Milton has a normal skin tone! This alone may potentially put him ahead of Iris in the competition for the title of heir. But he could age up with some of Melody’s more… prominent features, so we won’t count our mutant chickens just yet.
Melody returns home with Milton, and Iris gets to meet her new baby brother. She seems to like him!

Awwww.

Awwww.

While Iris get acquainted with her new bro, Melody sneaks out to steal borrow some vegetables and flowers from the local community garden behind her house. She figures, this garden is supposed to benefit the needy, isn’t it? Well, right now, she only has §86 to her name… That’s pretty needy, right?

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Stealing veggies from the poor in a hospital gown. Totally not effed up at all.

After selling all of her “borrowed” produce, melody earns a whopping §747!! Enough for a bed for Iris. And she kept a few seeds to start her own garden at home.

Still not gonna change out of that hospital gown, huh?

Still not gonna change out of that hospital gown, huh?

With the money Melody made, she was able to give Iris a suitably gloomy bedroom. Iris seems thoroughly pleased with the decor.

I'm kind of jealous, actually.

I’m kind of jealous, actually.

After the bedroom upgrade, the Gross family is flat broke again. So the next day, Melody (who still hasn’t changed out of that damn hospital gown) tries to hack the Llamacorn listserv to earn a few extra simoleons. Success! The family is now a few simoleons richer.
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To celebrate, she invites Travis Scott over for a date. He seems especially receptive to her advances tonight.

I mean, who could resist that alluring look in her eyes?

I mean, who could resist that alluring look in her eyes?

Things heat up quickly, and soon enough they finally get that first kiss they’ve both been dying for since chapter 1.

They always look terrified, without fail.

They always look terrified for the first kiss, without fail.

The date progresses ahead of schedule, and soon enough, they end up in bed together. In front of the baby. Poor kid’s going to be scarred for life.

At least they had the decency to hide their filthy deeds under the covers.

At least they had the decency to hide their filthy deeds under the covers.

And then it’s off to the bathroom, pee on a stick, you know the drill. Sims have a shockingly high success rate for pregnancy, so it’s not really a surprise when she gets another positive result.

Wooooo.

Wooooo.

Melody heads to the bedroom to tell Travis the good news. He’s… oh my.

“What do you mean, we’re pregnant?!”

He’s not as happy as she expected him to be.

“I think you mean you’re pregnant.”

Wowsers. And he seemed so into her a few minutes ago. He sure has changed his tune in a hurry… No matter. Melody and the kids have been fine so far without a man around. They don’t need some blonde guy hanging around, with his V-neck t-shirts and argyle sweaters. His hair was stupid, anyway.

Another day passes, and Iris spends her afternoon after school making friends with the neighborhood kids. Including her half-brother’s half-sister, Olivia Spencer Kim Lewis. This family tree stuff gets complicated.

Olivia keeps looking at her incredulously.

Turtleshirt here seems totally cool, but Olivia keeps looking at her incredulously.

Meanwhile, back at home, it’s Milton’s birthday! Time to age up, little Milty.

His age-up sparkles look like they're coming from Melody's butt.

His age-up sparkles look like they’re coming from Melody’s butt.

Oh my. So much for looking more normal than Iris. He looks about the same. Maybe worse? He has no chin. And those cheeks!

hhh

Also, nice bear underwear, Mel.

Milton’s dorky name is all the more fitting now that he’s aged up, because the aspiration he rolled is Whiz Kid. His trait is Hot Headed. Oh, Milt. You’re going to be fun.
Now that he’s older, Milton gets his own bed. For now, he’ll be sharing a room with Iris, and I love the spooky decor, so he’ll have to live with it. But I did give him a little shelf with some books and pencils, since he’s a whiz kid, and all.

hhh

Also, a bunny, I guess? It’s attached to the notebooks.

All in all, things are going pretty well for the Gross family right now. Melody is in her third trimester, is about to be promoted at work, and has finally gotten back on her feet financially. Iris is making friends and her grades are steadily climbing. And Milton is… Well, Milton is angry all the time, actually, but that can’t be helped. You’d be angry, too, if you were born looking like this.

This chapter will have to come to a close now, as I’ve been called away to the outside world. I know I wrote in the last chapter that there would be a special surprise, but as it turned out, this chapter wasn’t quite the right time. Now that the family’s got some money saved up, expect some spooky fun in Chapter 4!

Until then, happy simming!

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Breed Out the Ugly Challenge – Chapter 2: Baby!

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Hmm, my last entry said I’d update again “soon”, didn’t it? Well, I’m going to say if less than a month has passed, that counts as soon. *cough*

When we last left Melody, she had just become pregnant with Don Lothario’s child, and then thoroughly dumped D-Lo like the trash that he is.

Dang, that's cold.

Dang, that’s cold.

I’ll be honest. After chapter 1, I actually played chapter 2 the next day, but I was called away into the real world, so I didn’t get a chance to blog it. And now, I don’t rightly remember what happened, so you’ll have to bear with me while I make some shit up based on the pictures I took. 😀

Melody’s pregnancy was largely uneventful, consisting mostly of waddling around in her underwear and eating grilled cheese.

Hott.

Hott.

So let’s skip through all that, since it’s not very interesting, and also because I forgot to take any pictures of it, excluding the grilled cheese pic above. On to the birth!

Melody arrives at the hospital late at night, having gone into labor during her shift at work. She’s already running on very little sleep, and experiencing serious labor pains.
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She yawns as she heads to the front desk to check in. Miraculously, there’s actually someone sitting there.

What is this magical place, where people actually do their jobs??

What is this magical place, where Sim hospitals are actually staffed??

Suddenly, Melody’s not looking so good…

But really, is that any different than the norm?

But really, is that any different than the norm?

With little warning, she drops to the floor and passes out from exhaustion. The hospital staff seems unfazed.

Everything is totally fine here. Nobody help or anything.

Everything’s fine. Nobody help or anything.

When she comes to, she finds that she’s been strapped into some kind of terrifying cross between an iron lung and an MRI machine, with a young doctor gleefully manning the controls. She looks more like she’s playing an arcade game than delivering a baby.

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Pictured: A totally realistic portrayal of childbirth.

After being pinched and prodded through the holes on the side of this contraption, Melody’s new, blue little bundle of joy is placed at her side.

SO REALISTIC.

The doctor is like “lol I just pulled a baby out of that.”

It’s a girl! Welcome to the world, little Iris Gross.
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Melody instantly loses most of her baby bump, via, ummmm, magic or something, and takes this opportunity to strike a seductive pose for the orderly.

Sources say the orderly spontaneously went temporarily blind at that moment.

Foxy lady!

Now that she’s no longer pregnant, it’s time to… get pregnant again, obviously. Melody hopes to have at least three children, the least hideous of which will become heir to the throne of this bizarre challenge. So she takes to the streets while Iris sleeps, searching for beautiful men to father her next child. She meets a man named Micah. They hit it off pretty quickly, but he’s not exactly Brad Pitt…

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Dad-bod era Leonardo DiCaprio, maybe.

Unable to find a man up to her high standards, Melody heads home. But soon after she arrives at home, who should come to the door but Eric Lewis?

"Well, well, well, look who's come crawling back!"

“Well, well, well, look who’s come crawling back!”

You may remember Eric from Chapter 1, when he repeatedly rejected Melody’s advances:
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He seems to have changed his tune, today, though. In a big way.

hhhhh

I mean, can you blame him?

Things quickly heat up, and one way or another, the two young lovebirds find themselves sitting awfully close on the bed…

hhh

“Girl, you are so cute when you make that freaky duckface.”

Eric becomes hesitant suddenly. Or possibly scared, as if he’s just realized what he’s gotten himself into. And then, with a look of grim resignation…
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He takes the plunge.

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No turning back now, dude.

Without so much as a post-woohoo cuddle, Melody rushes to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test. Success!

In my world, only a negative result would elicit confetti.

In my world, only a negative result would elicit confetti.

Exciting news all around! Not only is Melody pregnant again, but also, enough time has apparently passed since leaving the hospital that it’s now Iris’s birthday! (See, this is why I need to blog during gameplay, not weeks after. I have no idea what’s actually happened since the last time I played.)

Here’s what the little tyke looks like. Not so little anymore! Almost as if she skipped her toddler years entirely. BUT THAT WOULD BE MADNESS, WOULDN’T IT, EA? 😡
*cough*
…Anyway, she’s kind of cute!

HHH

Dat nose, doe

Here’s another view from the side, to really showcase her strong profile.

No srsly, dat nose doe

No srsly, dat nose, doe

Iris definitely bears a strong resemblance to her mother, but so far, she looks pretty normal! It’s too soon to tell if she’ll become heir to this bizarre eugenic legacy, though. Sim kids have a tendency of growing into their more… unique facial features during adolescence, so we’ll have to wait and see what she looks like when she’s older.

Iris’s aspiration is Social Butterfly, and her new personality trait is Gloomy. These two characteristics seem to be at odds with each other. But hey, in a simulated world where even people like Melody can still find love, surely Iris will manage to make some friends…

Well, that’s it for now! I didn’t take any more pictures for this gameplay session, so this concludes Chapter 2. Stay tuned for baby number two, and, if my free time permits, maybe even a special, supertopsecret event!

Happy simming!