Welcome back, guys! GUYS. This is an exciting chapter, because I recently bought the Get Together expansion! I haven’t played it much yet, so I’m looking forward to seeing all the new features. Now, let’s get on with the chapter.
It’s been a while since our last visit with the Gross family. In the previous chapter, they went camping. It was going well at first, but then Milton almost set the whole forest ablaze.
Pants literally on fire.
Luckily, Melody was able to extinguish the flames before they spread too much. Later, she found a haunted tower, and threw a kickass Halloween party!
But all good things must come to an end, and now the family is back home, the kids are nestled snugly in their beds…
A rare shot of the kids actually looking peaceful.
And Melody is back to taking care of the babies. But not for long… Turns out it’s their birthday! Take one last look at them as babies…
Because it’s time to age them up! Vincenzo is a few seconds older, so he’ll go first. Ummm…. Wow.
I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’…
Okay, remember when Vincenzo was a baby?
It’s hard to tell in this lighting, but somehow his skin tone has turned several shades lighter?
And his outfit has gotten several shades weirder.
Mysterious skin tone changes aside, Vincenzo is by far the most normal looking child Melody’s had so far. He’s definitely beat Iris and Milton in the rankings for heirdom. Unless Kaiden turns out looking even more normal than him, Vinnie’s got a fair shot.
Vincenzo, or Slim, as I’ve just now decided will be his nickname, rolled the Whiz Kid aspiration just like his big brother Milton. And he rolled the Mean trait. Wonderful!
Now let’s see if Kaiden will usurp the throne from his brother…
…O-kay, so Slim wins the crown! Kaiden looks like a mutant Justin Timberlake, circa 1999.
Image courtesy of Bustle.com. On a side note, I never imagined that, as a grown adult, I would spend upwards of 15 minutes scouring Google image search for the perfect J.T. gif to post on my blog. I might need to reevaluate some of my life choices.
Wow. Okay. So, Kaiden’s aspiration is Rambunctious Scamp, and he rolled the Geek trait. At least he’s not mean or angry! Just… His hair looks like macaroni and cheese.
In this game, it looks more like mac and cheese than an actual plate of mac and cheese does.
The next day, the kids head off to school, except for Iris, who takes a vacation day. Which, FYI, is not how school actually works, but whatever. Iris has only four days left before she becomes a teen, so she needs to work on completing her Artistic Prodigy aspiration. Plus, she’s already an A student, so missing a day of school won’t hurt.
But while she’s hard at work furiously gluing macaroni and glitter onto construction paper, Iris receives a call from her friend, Dandre. He’s playing hooky, and wants to know if she’ll accompany him to that new nightclub that just opened up in Windenburg. How can she say no? So it’s off to Windenburg they go.
“Cool hat, bruh.”
Unfortunately, Melody was in the back yard taking a swim when she noticed Iris sneaking out the back door. So she’s followed the little rapscallions to the club to keep an eye on them. In her bathing suit.
Totally inconspicuous. You’ll blend right in, Mel.
Iris and Dandre head inside and, it being the middle of a weekday, find the club almost completely empty. They have the dance floor all to themselves! Time to bust some sick moves.
Not pictured: Sick moves.
Tired of dancing, Dandre wanders off to discover a closet, which obviously must be investigated immediately.
…This goes on for a while. But unbeknownst to Dandre, Melody’s right around the corner to witness his antics. She casually sips a drink at the bar and waits for him to emerge.
When he finally gets bored with his closet shenanigans, Dandre meets back up with Iris on the dance floor. Melody nonchalantly walks over to join them and starts dancing.
This has got to be breaking the club’s dress code.
BUSTED. Dandre looks up to find Melody, clad only in a bikini, jiggling and gyrating in front of him. His reaction is about what you’d expect.
The kids are mortified, and their fun day playing hooky at the club is ruined. Defeated, they sulk out the door and head back home. But Melody’s not done partying yet. Still buzzed from her drink, and feeling mischievous, she heads upstairs to the bathroom to clog the sink.
Oh god, the tramp stamp! D:
But she’s not satisfied with just one act of mild vandalism. She does, after all, need to clog three drains in order to fulfill one of her Chief of Mischief aspiration goals. Still pumped, Melody puts on some clothes (thank goodness) and heads to the fanciest place in Windenburg, the Von Haunt Estate.
The estate is huge and impressive, and the house itself is beautifully preserved. Most of the rooms are roped off, but the public has access to the bathrooms. Melody waits until the coast is clear, and then heads in to sabotage the sink.
Gosh, Melody, you sure know how to party!
Back home, Iris gets a call from a member of a local
gang club, the Renegades. They must have heard about her rebelliously ditching school today, because they want to make her a member! She accepts, and meets them at the entrance the indoor pool… But honestly? Nothing’s really happening.
Pictured: The Renegades, standing around. Rebelliously.
Iris pranks a couple of old people and swims around, but quickly gets bored and goes home. Maybe this club will be more exciting when she’s a teen and has a bit more freedom.
The next day, Iris takes another day off from school. Having squandered her free time yesterday out gallivanting around Windenburg, she’s determined to use today to build up her creativity skill. She spends all day playing the violin, until she finally maxes out her creativity skill. Success! Iris has completed the Artistic Prodigy aspiration, and will now build creative skills faster when she grows up.
You may have noticed the new playroom in the above picture. You may have also noticed that the playroom appears to be underwater. That’s because I built a basement! And the basement connects with the pool! Yesssss.
It’s pretty bare right now, but features a playroom, a bedroom for the boys, and what will eventually be a second bathroom. What used to be the kids’ room upstairs, is now Iris’s very own room. Since she’s almost a teen, she’ll need the privacy. The gloomy decor will, of course, remain intact.
Well hey, it looks like Iris isn’t the only overachiever in the family. Milton has just maxed out his mental skill, and completed the Whiz Kid aspiration! He’s still got a while before growing up, so his new aspiration will be Rambunctious Scamp.
Ummm. So, this just happened. Dandre followed Iris home from school today, and he happened to age up in the middle of a solo chess game. And now he looks like this.
I smell future boyfriend material!
On a side note, my game can’t seem to handle custom facial hair. Every single boy in my game ages up to a teen with these sideburns. Every. Single. One. It’s happened before with different facial hair, and I have deleted it thinking that particular CC was just broken, but nope. It seems to happen with whatever custom facial hair is in the first slot. And since I’m too lazy to go into Create-a-Sim to remove it, every male Sim in my game lives out the rest of his life with these sideburns. It’s like Hipster City up in here. Everyone looks like the bassist for a shitty stoner metal band.
…Right, so, returning to our regularly scheduled life simulation now.
Have I mentioned yet that Vincenzo is already making straight A’s in school? Despite his rough exterior, he’s actually a model student. He does his homework on his own without being prompted, even extra credit. On an unrelated note, he still looks smooth as fuck.
Chicka-chicka Slim Shady!
Meanwhile, the family’s other boy genius does his homework on the grimy kitchen floor, in his swim trunks. Which normally I would think was weird, but this is Milton we’re talking about, after all.
I mean… There are chairs right there. Just sayin’…
Also? I’m just going to come right out and say it. The twins are weird. Here’s Slimcenzo doing sit-ups in a puddle of water in the bathroom…
I really hope that’s from the shower, and not the toilet…
And then we have Kaiden.
Kaiden is lagging behind in school, compared to his siblings. He’s a Rambunctious Scamp, so he spends most of his time either practicing typing or swimming to get his Motor skill up. And even that’s happening slowly. He takes longer than the other kids to get through his homework, and he seems to need to sleep more often. Basically, Kaiden sucks.
Also his hair is noodles.
In other news, Melody has arrived home to announce that she’s been promoted to Minor Crimelord! She now makes §32 an hour, which is more than I will ever make in my life. Maybe I should quit my job and get into crime…
The next day, everyone arrives home from school with some kind of plague. Kaiden’s feeling itchy, although you’d never guess it from his dopey stoner grin. Vincenzo’s head feels like it’s about to explode from the pressure, so he is understandably tense.
He looks like he wants to slap the shit out of his brother.
Milt is not only nauseous, he’s also sad, for whatever reason. And poor Iris is feeling so dizzy, she’s seeing stars buzzing around her head. Oh, and Iris is also sad. But that’s normal for her.
Little does she know, her mom has prepared a surprise birthday party for her while she was at school! She even used her gourmet cooking skill to bake her black birthday cake.
“Thanks mom! It’s almost as black as the inner depths of my soul.”
The family gathers in the kitchen to celebrate. Everyone is super excited, except for Milton, who seems miffed about all the confetti his brother just shot at him.
Iris’s face is apparently stuck like this.
So here’s the moment of truth. Iris looks pretty strange as a kid, sure. She’s blue, for one thing. And she’s definitely got something weird going on with her face. But I wouldn’t call her a monster or anything. Will she retain her quirky cuteness as a teen?
Oh, god. Wow. WOW. She is damn near identical to Melody. The ears, the cheeks, and of course, that nose. I would almost say her nose is worse than Melody’s.
Iris’s new teen trait is Romantic. And her aspiration? Serial Romantic. YES. This is so exciting. This is exactly what I was hoping she’d roll. She’s going to be so much fun.
After cake, the party games commence. The party score hovers just below gold, with only one goal left – to play a game with the birthday Sim. Guys, I’m here to tell you that this goal is broken. Melody and Iris tried all manner of games, to no avail. They tried chess twice. They even bought a new Don’t Wake the Llama game. Which, as far as I can tell, is just Jenga with a llamacorn on top. Still nothing. Iris’s birthday party ended with a silver score.
Since she’s a promiscuous, gloomy teen, it’s time to ditch the trucker hat and start dressing to show her true nature. After about an hour of primping in the bathroom, Iris emerges anew, like a slutty goth butterfly breaking out of its cocoon.
Oh good, she even inherited Melody’s perma-preg belly!
I rather like Iris’s new look, to be honest. Takes me back to my high school days. Wait, no, I don’t want to go back there. Forget I said that. Anyway, she looks better than she did in that bright yellow trucker hat.
And her eyeliner is on fleek.
Well, this seems like a good stopping point for now. As always, thanks for reading! More to come soon!*
*”Soon” is is a loose term. Use of the word “soon” is not meant to imply or guarantee that the next chapter will be posted any time within the next month.