Breed Out the Ugly Challenge – Chapter 6: Milton Ages Up!

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Hello, hello! Guys, wow. Holy shit. So, I feel like I need to say something before I get started with today’s chapter.

I started writing this blog in July just for fun, as kind of a journal for my Sims challenges. I didn’t expect anyone to actually read this except for me and my boyfriend. So, imagine my surprise yesterday evening when I received a text from him telling me to check the Sims Subreddit page. Unbeknownst to me (thanks, hon >_<), he made a post linking to this blog earlier today.

I went from getting literally zero views per day to over three thousand in just a few hours. Today, I’m about to hit 10,000! I don’t know if that’s considered a lot of views by Internet Fame standards, but holy shit guys, I feel like a rockstar. In addition to a substantial spike in views on this blog, his Reddit post received some very nice comments about how funny his girlfriend is, and now you guys are commenting on my blog posts, too. So, thanks, everyone! You guys are awesome.
…But I’m still probably not going to update regularly. 😉

All right, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business (to defeat… the Huns).

…I’m sorry.

Psssssych, no I’m not.

Anyway, it’s time for another chapter of the Gross family saga. Last time, we saw Iris blossom into a  beautiful young woman.
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Since Iris’s new trait is Romantic and her new aspiration is Serial Romantic, she can’t wait to start testing the waters with dating. So she invites her dear friend, Dandre over, to see if he’s more than just a friend. You may remember Dandre from Chapter 5, in which he aged up and his true nature as a hipster witchbro was revealed.
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Eager to wish his friend a happy birthday, Dandre accepts the invitation and comes over for a rousing game of Don’t Wake the Llama.

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More like an arousing game of Don’t Wake the Llama, am I right? 😉

Dandre is obviously interested, so Iris works up the nerve to ask him on a date. The playroom isn’t the most romantic location for a date, so they head to Windenburg to try out that new coffee shop that just opened up. Away from the prying eyes of her family (but still surrounded by the numerous prying eyes of total strangers), Iris feels emboldened. She makes her move on the loveseat, utilizing the classic Yawn ‘n Grab® tactic.

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Have you ever seen a more perfect couple?

The move works like a charm. Iris is a natural at this flirting stuff! Pretty soon the young lovebirds are officially Boyfriend/Girlfriend. They even share their very first kiss, all the while being glared at by this cranky blonde lady.

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Cranky Blonde Lady looks like she needs to get woohoo’d, bigtime.

But it’s not just CBL who’s put off by Iris and Dandre’s public displays of affection. Pretty much everyone in the coffee shop is giving them sideways glances. Even Mortimer Goth can’t help but stare.
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But they don’t care. They’re young, and they’re in love. They don’t expect these tightass adults to understand. No one in the entire history of Simanity has been as in love as these two are right now, right here, in this coffee shop.
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But it’s getting late, so the date has to come to an end. The two share a final embrace under the full moon before parting ways. Their hearts ache at the very notion that this embrace could ever end, but eventually they manage tear themselves away from one another and head home.
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But not long after Iris gets home, Dandre comes knocking at the front door. He wants a second date. Iris accepts, but she’s exhausted, so she opts to stay home for this one.

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Melody likes that idea. It’s easier to keep an eye on her at home. But as soon as she leaves for work… Okay, I swear I did not tell them to do this. This happened completely autonomously when I was occupied with my cat for a minute. I looked up, and they were already headed for Melody’s bed with the “mess around” interaction queued up. Seriously? Well, I’m not one to block such romantic exchanges. Have at it, kids.

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Just… So many things wrong with this.

Needless to say, that date got a gold score.

The next day is Sunday, and the family uses their free time to work on the skills needed to complete their aspirations. Slim is hard at work at his junior chemistry set.

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No doubt perfecting his formula for his blue and yellow purple pills.

Our two Rambunctious Scamps are swimming laps in the pool.

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Note that Kaiden’s nose is so long, his sunglasses sit about three inches away from his face.

Iris is practicing in the mirror to build up her charisma skill.

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Also, check out her sweet new bed. Now maybe she won’t have to use her mom’s.

And Melody’s busy trolling the internet as hard as she can.
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Slim takes a break from sciencing to get some fresh air. And who should walk past his house but none other than Bella Goth? Since Slim is, if you remember, smooth as fuck, he decides to chat her up. He’s too young right now, but who knows? Maybe if he’s really lucky, she’ll be a cougar when he grows up.

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Honestly though, who’s really going to be just strolling around town dressed like that on a Sunday afternoon?

Later that evening, Iris gets a call from her old childhood frienemy, Olivia “Too Many Names” Spencer-Kim-Lewis. Remember her?

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And also Turtleshirt! What ever happened to that kid?

Well, Olivia just found out about some crazy party that’s supposed to be going on tonight at the club and is inviting as many people as she can. Iris decides to put her old rivalry with Olivia aside to check it out.

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In the skimpiest, most skin-tight dress she can find, naturally.

Okay, this club is way cooler than that one she played hooky at with Dandre as a kid. For one thing, the DJ is like, a cyborg, or something.

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A cyborg who looks to have tested some of whatever Slim was cooking up on his chemistry set earlier today.

Iris gathers everyone to perform some kind of impromptu, impossibly choreographed dance routine, because she felt like her life just didn’t have enough teen movie cliches in it.
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But wait… Who’s that cute guy with the sideburns? No, not him, the other guy with the sideburns. I TOLD YOU THEY ALL HAVE THOSE FREAKING SIDEBURNS. 😡

…’Kay. I’m cool. No, I’m fine, really. The sideburns are just a trigger for me, is all. I’ll be okay.

So anyway, it turns out our flat-topped, mutton-chopped dreamboat is actually Turtleshirt all grown up! Also, he has a real name. Who knew? Puberty’s been good to Nawwaf, and Iris can’t help but find him attractive. So she spends the rest of the evening catching up with him. What Dandre doesn’t know can’t hurt him, right?

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“So, are you still into punching bears?”

Nawwaf and Iris are really hitting it off, so they sneak away from the party early to check out the old ruins nearby.
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The ruins are eerily beautiful (or beautifully eerie?), and Iris thinks this is the perfect opportunity to make her move on Nawwaf. But Nawwaf is suddenly turns cold and rejects all of Iris’s advances, and then leaves. Iris goes home embarrassed and disappointed. Bummer.

The next morning, Vincenzo is busy at his chemistry set as usual, when… Eureka! He’s reached mental skill level 10. This means he’s also completed the Whiz Kid aspiration! His new aspiration will be Social Butterfly, which seems pretty fitting for Slim, honestly.

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Slim appears blissfully unconcerned about the serious risk for chemical burns on his torso.

The kids head off to school, and Melody’s got the day off. What to do with this rare bit of free time? Skinny dip, obviously. But when she gets out of the pool…

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I’m not even going to ask what she’s doing.

It’s getting late in the day, and the kids will be home from school soon. And, holy crap, it turns out it’s Milton’s birthday! Time for Melody to cover her shame and bake a cake.

Milton arrives home from school and seems almost as surprised as Melody that it’s his birthday. Or maybe he’s just super stoked about the hamburger cake Melody baked for him.

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Hon, if you’re reading this, I really want a hamburger cake for my next birthday.

No one seems to be into this party at all, except for Iris, who’s clearly hopped up on purple pills.
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So let’s see if Milton fared any better than Iris…

…..

Honestly, he doesn’t look too bad at first glance, apart from the nose. His face turned out pretty normal, otherwise. He does, of course have those fucking sideburns, but that will be easy enough to fix with a trip to the mirror to change his appearance.

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Oh my god, though, that nose. It’s like a beak!

So, here he is with a change of clothes… Um. What the hell happened with his body? This is nothing like Melody’s shape. It’s got to be some leftover genetics from the random uggo “parents” I created in CAS to spawn Melody from. I think one of them had a really narrow waist.

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He looks like if Barbie’s impossible proportions were applied to a Ken doll. Also he looks like he’s about to piss himself, because he is.

Oh, I almost forgot. Milton’s new trait is Snob, which is disappointing, because snobs don’t really do anything exciting. But his aspiration is Serial Romantic, just like his big sis! Now we’ll have two teenage horndogs running amok all over town.

Oh, and in case anyone’s wondering how I determine a kid’s aspiration and traits, when aging up, I use the Sims 4 Legacy Challenge Random Trait Generator. I use it for almost every sim, even when I’m not playing a challenge. I just love the idea of the parents’ traits being passed down, with that little bit of random chance thrown into the mix to keep things interesting.

Well, guys, it’s time for this chapter to come to a close. Thanks as always for reading, and again, thanks to everyone who’s had such nice things to say about my blog over the last twenty four hours. And to my stupid boyfriend for sharing it on Reddit even though I explicitly forbade him from doing so multiple times. Love you, babe. 😉

I’ll leave you with this breathtaking photo of Milton eating his birthday cake.

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Majestic, isn’t he?

Happy simming!

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6 thoughts on “Breed Out the Ugly Challenge – Chapter 6: Milton Ages Up!

    • Thanks, I’m excited, too! I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to see how the twins turn out. Honestly, half the reason I still get so much enjoyment out of the Sims games is because I love seeing how the genetics mix when a Sim ages up.

      Like

    • No, I got my mom’s famous chocolate cake though, so it’s all good. Also one year my aunt made me a “litterbox cake”, which was spice cake crumbled up into a plastic bin, with little smooshed up tootsie rolls in it. Looked disgusting, but it was tasty!

      Liked by 1 person

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