Welcome once again to the Gross family Breed Out the Ugly Challenge! As always, I’m eternally sorry for taking so long to post this. Real life just keeps fucking up my shit, guys. But I’ve taken the next two days off work, so I actually have time to play and write!
So recently, I posted a poll asking if all of Melody’s kids should try to have children, or only Slim. I had mentioned that the poll would be closed at 5:00 p.m. Central time, but I guess I accidentally selected a.m.? Sorry if you tried to vote and found it closed! Not that it would have made much of a difference, because Slim only received 8 votes out of 47.
Now, without further ado, let’s begin the chapter. Our last visit to the Gross family was quite eventful! Both Iris and Milton aged up. Milton took a job in the business career track…
Whereas Iris chose a more creative path and became a writer. More importantly, she had her first woohoo with local celebrity, Alexander Goth!
…And then had her second woohoo, with local bad boy, Wolfgang Munch.
So what’s new with the Grosses today? For starters, Iris has been hard at work at her writing job and has been promoted to level 4, Advice Columnist! Look at her, all professional in her button-down shirt. Like a sexy librarian, only not sexy.
But wait, what’s Kaiden up to back there? Oh, nothing, just lying in the grass, appreciating the clouds.
“Oh, shiiiiiiit, that’s a sweet cloud.”
He’s so lost in his daydreams, he doesn’t realize he’s late for work! Kaiden, get the hell up off the ground. Those burgers aren’t going to flip themselves.
While Kaiden heads off to work, Iris decides to celebrate her promotion by finding a new guy to chat up. That new mailman is pretty cute. She runs across the street to introduce herself.
She musters up her best flirty introduction, and he totally takes the bait.
Meanwhile, back in the house, Milton finally goes on his second date with his old girlfriend, Yuki Behr. I’m not sure if I ever mentioned it in the blog, but he started dating her when they were both teens. They were both quite smitten with each other, but she aged up before him, so he was unable to rekindle his romance with her until now.
Having all those pent up romantic feelings for so long has certainly worked in his favor today. Time to take that new bed for a test drive.
And so Milton and Yuki have their very first woohoo, socks and all. We all know that the first time can be awkward for some people… This seems all too true in Milton’s case. But at least the date is a success. And now that he’s had two dates, he’s completed the first level of his Serial Romantic aspiration.
While Milton and Yuki deflower each other, Iris is downstairs macking on the mailman, Allan. She’s further along in her own romantic aspiration goals, and she has to kiss ten different sims in order to reach the final level. Allan just became number 5.
Throughout all of this debauchery, Melody has been hard at work on her own aspiration, steadily munching on grilled cheese in her underwear.
The next day passes uneventfully. But then, the next day, Iris and Milton both arrive home from work together, apparently in the midst of some kind of bizarre three-legged race thing. They’ve both been promoted! Iris is now a Regular Contributor, and Milt is an Assistant Manager. Not bad!
Nothing much happens for the rest of the evening. But the next day is the day everyone’s been waiting for – the twins’ birthday! Both boys decide to call in and take the day off school, because fuck it.
Now that he’s got the day off, Kaiden heads outside to see what he can see. And he just happens to see a very pretty girl named Jessica.
One would think Kaiden would have no chance whatsoever with a girl like Jessica. Luckily, Kaiden lives in the world of the Sims, where love is blind and a scrawny boy with noodle hair and a fast food job is equally as appealing as a rocket scientist with exquisitely sculpted abs. She’s totally down for it.
Kaiden invites her inside to get to know her better. Things advance quickly in the living room as he wraps his weird, sinewy arms around her.
Kaiden is just full of surprises, isn’t he? He spends his entire teenage life collecting rocks and playing video games, showing zero interest in girls (or boys either, for that matter), and then on his last day as a teen, he’s got a girlfriend. And his first kiss.
AND his first closet makeout. But wait… Kaiden’s room doesn’t have a closet. So that means… Yup, he’s in Milton’s room right now.
While Kaiden’s been making up for lost time, Melody’s been hard at work in the kitchen preparing for her boys’ big day. With all the damn cakes she’s baked at this point, she might as well retire from her life of crime and open up a bakery. Or maybe combine the two professions, and sell cakes made with black market ingredients.
The cakes are done, so it’s time for the party. Melody calls the family and guests into the kitchen to celebrate. Slim’s up first to blow out the candles on his plain, chocolate cake.
Evidently aging up is a painful process for Sims, judging by the grimace on Slim’s face. His new adult trait is Bro, which is perfect for Slim. I love it.
Next up is Kaiden, for whom Melody has baked a delicious hamburger cake. Made with real hamburger!
Kaiden grows up looking shocked, for some reason. Perhaps he forgot how this worked? You’ve done this before, Kaiden, you should know the drill by now. Slim, on the other hand, has now recovered from the trauma of growing up and resumed looking smooth as fuck.
Although, actually, when you zoom in, Slim looks less smooth, and more endearingly dopey.
Kaiden does his best to try and look smooth, but fail spectacularly. Kaiden’s new trait is genius, by the way. You’d never guess by the looks of him.
Iris, bored of the birthday festivities, sneaks off to the basement with her first love, Dandre, who is looking fashionable as always.
After some titillating banter, they head outside to the hot tub, where Iris has her way with him – and adds another kiss to her tally, because apparently when they kissed as teens it didn’t count? She dons her signature sunhat (at night) and chainmaille bikini, while Dandre remains fully clothed, wearing a kitty hat.
Having blown off some steam with Dandre, Iris is now ready to rejoin the rest of the family at the birthday party.
The party is a success, and the boys win another ugly dresser as their gold party reward, which is promptly sold. Now that they’re adults, it’s time to choose their careers. Slim chooses the Painter career path, of course.
Kaiden, being a geek and a genius, takes a job in the Tech Guru career track.
Now that all four of the kids have grown up, it’s time to get back to business and start trying to make some non-ugly babies. But with five people in the house, it’s already pretty crowded.
And so, with a heavy heart, the Gross kids prepare to leave the nest. Melody hugs each of her children goodbye. First Iris…
And then Slim…
And uhhh… Well, actually Kaiden is going to stay here a while longer. It seems he’s not ready to move out and start his adult life just yet.
So where have Kaiden’s siblings ended up? Well, Iris needs a place that suits her romantic, poetic soul… But is also close to all the clubs and populated by tons of potential boy-toys. Naturally, she chose to move to Windenburg.
Iris has moved into this quaint little tudor, which conveniently already existed in the game and I did not have to build myself.
Milton, on the other hand, opted to move to Oasis Springs to work on his tan.
Milton has also moved into an existing house, because seriously, fuck building. And hey, it’s a pretty cool little bachelor pad.
So what about Slim? He’s more of a city guy, I think. So I moved him to the only neighborhood Sims 4 has that even remotely resembles a city, which is Newcrest.
This time, I actually did build the house. Which should be obvious, because it sucks.
Slim doesn’t seem to mind the shitty house though. He spends several minutes just standing in front of it, gawking at his neighbors’ houses while making this face.
So hey, I know you guys were probably hoping there would be some babymaking in this chapter. I was, too. But it’s getting pretty long, so I’m going to cap it off here. BUT. Seeing as I have the day off, I’m going to spend a large chunk of it playing and writing the next chapter. So expect chapter 11 soon! Like, for real. I mean it this time.
Thanks for reading, and happy simming! ❤