Breed Out the Ugly Challenge: Chapter 11 – Babymakin’

Lol guys, I’m gonna delete the word “soon” from my personal dictionary. Thank you for your patience. I’m finally back after a much-needed break, ready to kick off this next chapter. Only, I actually started writing this two or maybe even three months ago (holy shit, it’s really been that long?) so I took all of these pictures and have very little recollection of what actually happened, so… Enjoy the ensuing shitshow! 😀

You may recall that in Chapter 10, Slim and Kaiden finally aged up.

Also, Kaiden got a girlfriend, and she is totally DTW as soon as she ages up.

Also, some other stuff happened. I’d like to finally get this chapter written, so I’m not going to bother with a huge recap today. If you need a refresher, feel free to click on the link above.

So let’s see where this chapter takes us! We’ll start with Iris, who is stepping into her lovely little tudor house for the first time.

It’s… pretty bare right now. But sufficiently gloomy.

Also, I should fess up to “cheating” by using copious amounts of CC, like the old fashioned cupboard shown above that functions as a fridge, and costs way less than a real fridge… It fit better with the decor? 😀

There’s a little bedroom upstairs. Nothing too fancy, as Iris can’t afford much at the moment.

But she does have her trusty computer, so she can continue to move up in her writing career.

But enough of that! You didn’t come here to watch Iris write. We all know you’re here for the babymaking, so let’s get to it. She heads outside to see if there are any unsuspecting men around. Sure enough, she finds this redheaded chap right outside her house.

Guys, holy shit is it difficult to get the camera to zoom in properly in this part of the neighborhood.

With eight charisma skills, it’s not hard for Iris to work her magic on him.

I mean, who can resist this beautiful face?

H. O. T. T.

Within no time, she’s got him eating out of the palm of her hand.

Oh my god. Seriously, it took me forever to get the camera angled so that this shot wasn’t super zoomed out.

She does notice that he’s got a few… odd mannerisms.

Like, for real, what is he even doing right now.

But she’s determined to complete her aspiration. She still needs to kiss a few more people. Here’s kiss number eight!

Her nose actually got stuck in his face, so her lips couldn’t quite reach his. The game still counted it, though.

For some infuriating reason, the woohoo option on Iris’s bed absolutely will not function. So these two make their way to the closet for some unromantic, dusty woohoo.

Conveniently for Iris, this guy’s fetish is actually the smell of mothballs.

Suddenly, sparks start shooting out from between the slats in the doors. Iris had completely forgotten that this closet is where she stores her leftover fireworks…

Either that, or the game developers were at a loss for creative ways to portray the climax during closet woohoo.

Luckily, no Sims were injured during the making of this chapter. Wait a second… Is… Is he glowing pink?

Well, that explains his odd behavior earlier. Turns out Iris just got it on with a bona fide, honest to goodness alien! She doesn’t mind. The woohoo was that good.

You might even say it was… out of this world? (I’M SO SORRY.) (NO I’M NOT.)

Emboldened by this close encounter, Iris isn’t ready to call it a night yet. She puts on her favorite slutty goth outfit and heads to the nearby nightclub to see if she can find Kiss #9. This mysterious, masked DJ seems promising. She tries out the new “enchanting introduction” she just unlocked when she reached charisma level 9.

Apparently it involves throwing up her arms and somehow magically engulfing the recipient in a bunch of hearts?

Her weird introduction totally enchanted him, and he is putty in her hands. And more importantly, he’s kiss number nine!

Not to mention by far the weirdest first kiss photo featured in this challenge so far.

And so the two young lovers make their way to the nearest closet, because Iris can’t seem to get enough of that closet woohoo. Never mind the bartender over there. I’m sure she won’t notice.

Just kidding, she totally noticed, and she’s totally voyeuristically getting off to it.

“Why do you think I put that closet within view of the bar in the first place?”

By this time, it’s 7:00 in the morning, and Iris decides to head home. But she’s so close to her goal of kissing ten sims. She can’t give up now! So she stops to chat up the Partihaus boys on the way home.

I mean, they named their house Partihaus. There’s got to be at least one person in there who’s down to woohoo.

Inside, she manages to pry Paulo away from his excessively huge arcade game and flirt with him.

He is not easy to woo, possibly because he keeps trying to pee and Iris keeps stopping him before he makes it to the bathroom. After hours of flirting (and finally letting him take a bathroom break), she finally snags that tenth kiss.

Once again, her lips don’t reach.

Now that she’s completed the Romance Juggler level of her aspiration, she’s on the fourth and final level. Her new goal is to have had eight boyfriends. She’s only had two so far, so she asks Paulo to go steady. He readily says yes, and they do a little happy dance together.

Oh, Paulo, if only you knew.

Iris is getting tired, but she figures, why not go for her third woohoo in twenty-four hours? It would break her personal record. As long as it’s not in a fucking closet again.

Or, I should say, not fucking in a closet again.

Having woohoo’d so much recently, Iris decides that she’d better take a pregnancy test. And Paulo… decides to watch?

Whatever gets you off, man. I’m not here to kinkshame.

In case the confetti didn’t clue him in, Iris breaks the news to Paulo that she is, indeed, pregnant. He reacts about as favorably as you’d expect a member of Partihaus to.

Cheer up, Paulo! Maybe it’s not yours?

Suddenly feeling unwelcome at the Partihaus, Iris heads home to finally get some sleep.

• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Well, now that we’ve seen what Iris is up to, let’s check in on Milton.

Who, for some reason, is carrying a stack of dirty dishes into his new home.

Milton is settling into his new desert home nicely. He’s got the day off work, and Yuki won’t be off work for hours, so he spends the day chatting up a local woman named Josie.

Milt is just not that good at being a player, so he’s pretty far behind his big sister in his Serial Romantic aspiration. One of his current goals is to have three strong romantic relationships at once. He’s hoping Josie here can help him out.

She does not disappoint! Not only does she help him complete that goal, she also becomes Kiss #2 for Milton. He’s still got a long way to go before he reaches ten, but it’s a start. He also asks her to be his girlfriend, because eventually he’s going to need to fulfill that “have had eight boyfriends or girlfriends” goal, too.

A few hours pass, and now Yuki is off work. Milton invites her over, and before they even make it through the door he gives her a passionate kiss. Unfortunately, they’ve already kissed, so it doesn’t count for his tally.

Not that he’s complaining.

Things quickly lead to woohoo, after which the two lovebirds fall asleep.

I don’t know why he always makes this face during woohoo. It’s really unsettling.

Milton goes about his next day as normal. He’s really strapped for cash, so he does some digging for precious metals to earn a little extra money.

Unfortunately, all he gets are those stupid MySims trophies. Someone explain to me how the capsule they’re held in usually sells for more money than the actual trophy?

He’s got a little time before work, so he introduces himself to a random pretty lady. Last night he earned enough charisma points to unlock the “flirty introduction”, so he decides to try it out.

The look on her face should tell you all how well it worked.

But he doesn’t have long to chat, and soon he has to head off to work.

He looks like an angry bird, doesn’t he?

After work, Milton spends his evening flirting with various ladies. This one’s quite a looker!

She is also evil. Fun fact.

But before he can get too far with his latest attempted conquest, he sees Yuki approaching. He makes up some bullshit excuse to convince his new “friend” to leave quickly. Just in the nick of time! Yuki almost caught him. Juggling all these women is stressful!

Yuki’s all dressed up for some reason. Milton figures, since he’s still dressed up for work, why not go on a date? Also, is it just me, or does it look like Yuki’s put on some weight recently?

And also, does she look extremely uncomfortable to anyone else? Perhaps like she’s having severe back pain?

Yeah… She’s definitely gained some weight. But Milton doesn’t care. More to love, right? He likes women of all shapes and sizes.

After another woohoo session, Milt and Yuki enjoy some scrambled eggs in the kitchen. And that’s when Yuki drops the bomb. She’s pregnant!

“Whaaaaat?!”

After Milton recovers from the shock, Milton decides he had better take responsibility for his actions. He invites Yuki to move in.

Well, so much for Milt’s swingin’ bachelor pad. Looks like Milt will have to carry on his affairs much more carefully from here on out.

• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Now it’s time to check up on everyone’s favorite Eminem lookalike, Vincenzo. Here he is crossing the threshold of his brand new house in Newcrest.

And here he is displaying a horrifying disregard for the laws of physics.

😥

But wait, Slim’s not the only one moving in today… Elsa is all grown up and ready to take the next step in her relationship with Slim.

Although, judging by her expression, maybe not as ready as she thought? Or maybe she’s just wary of the door after what just happened to Slim.

In case anyone’s interested, here’s a shot of the layout first floor of their new house. Nothing fancy for now, just a kitchen and one big, open room, and a table and chairs.

And here’s the second floor. Just a bedroom and tiny bathroom. But it will be nice to spend time outside on the balcony! I actually kind of like how simple this house is. It reminds me of some of the campus rental houses in Sims 2 University.

Which, by the way, I have been feeling super nostalgic for lately. Would anyone be interested in seeing some Sims 2 action on this blog? …I kind of might do it anyway.

The young couple are exhausted from moving, so they sit down at their new dining table to have a quick dinner. Slim must be feeling homesick – He’s whipped up some grilled cheese, just like his mom would make.

Or possibly that’s just the only thing his cooking skill will allow him to make without burning down his new house.

The next morning, Slim steps out the door to head to his first day on the job as a Palette Cleaner. Dressed like a goddamn banana hipster, because fuck everything.

Seriously, how is this his work uniform?

Elsa has taken a job in the Business career track as a Mailroom Technician, but she’s not scheduled to work today. What’s a girl to do on her day off? She decides to use her free time to get a leg up on the competition and file reports for work. But there’s no computer at the house, so she heads to the library.

No idea what’s going on with the librarian sitting across from her.

Just as she finishes her reports, she spots Melody practicing chess maneuvers by the window. She figures this is the perfect opportunity to score some brownie points with her boyfriend’s mom, so she challenges her to a game.

After losing to Melody, Elsa heads back to her own neighborhood to explore the area. She and Slim are broke, so she goes digging for whatever random shit she can find to sell.

While Elsa’s out digging, Slim arrives home from work feeling tense, probably because he’s been forced to look down at that godawful yellow disaster he decided to wear today.

God, that sweater. It’s like someone tried to dye it with highlighter ink. It matches his hair nicely, though!

He and Elsa unwind by taking a nice, relaxing shower together. Afterwards, Slim’s still feeling tense. But even though the shower didn’t cure Slim’s stress, Elsa might be able to…

Though probably make sure you’re not impaling his torso with your hand, Elsa dear.

Finally, the moment they’ve both been waiting for since the they met at the ruins. Now that they’re adults, it’s time for their first woohoo.

And we all know this wasn’t just an ordinary woohoo. You guys have been chomping at the bit to see what Slim’s kids will look like since he aged up to a teen. These two woohoo’d with every intent to procreate. Well, mission accomplished! Elsa’s got the awkwardly framed confetti squat photo to prove it.

Seriously, what the fuck was I even doing when I took this picture?

She heads back to the bedroom, where Slim is still basking in the afterglow of his first woohoo. When she delivers the good news, he’s absolutely thrilled!

Like, it’s kind of scary how happy he is.

After such an eventful day, the happy couple are understandably tired. They climb into their new bed together and fall asleep in each other’s arms, dreaming of their future non-mutant children.

• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Well, the more functional of the Gross kids seem to be doing well. But what about Kaiden? And for that matter, Melody? Let’s head back to the original Gross House to check in on them.

At first, Melody doesn’t know what to do with all of her new free time. Until one day when she’s struck with the absurd notion that she absolutely must eat a grilled cheese sandwich in space. Because Maxis was seriously grasping at straws for level 3 Grilled Cheese Aspiration goals. BUT FINE, WE’RE DOING IT. So she gets started building a freaking rocket ship, of all things.

Meanwhile, Kaiden’s off to his first day of work as a Live Chat Support Agent. He’s sure to make a good first impression in his Navi shirt.

Clearly there is no dress code at his new office.

After Kaiden leaves, Melody changes into her best dress… and continues to work on the rocket, because it takes fucking forever to build a rocket ship by yourself in your backyard, guys.

After work, Kaiden invites Jessica over for a romantic date at his mom’s house.

They could be down in the sewer, for all she cares. Judging by the look on her face, she is still DTW.

He takes her down to the basement, which normally should be a red flag on a date, but in this case that’s just where Kaiden’s room happens to be located.

Kaiden, still new to this whole talking-to-girls thing, is understandably nervous. Jessica’s been giving him fuck-me eyes all night. It’s pretty obvious what she’s after. Stalling for time, he shows her all of his posters and Zelda memorabilia.

Oddly enough, this seems to only get Jessica going even more.

Feeling confident after impressing his lady with his encyclopedic knowledge of Zelda trivia, Kaiden is starting to relax. He starts rubbing Jessica’s back after showing her his sweet Master Sword art that’s sure to get any lady’s motor running. And, um… his very grown-up wooden chest. Definitely not a toybox, nope. And definitely not full of Zelda dolls action figures.

It’s really a shame that no one’s made a Zelda-style treasure chest that functions as a toybox yet. Hint, hint, CC creators!

Unable to wait any longer, Jessica abruptly turns around and kisses Kaiden.

And then gives him this look. And it looks like he’s finally ready…

Umm, for real though, what is happening with her eyelashes?

Our little Kaiden is finally becoming a man. *Sniff* They grow up so fast!

Actually no, in Kaiden’s case, it’s about damn time.

Kaiden’s first woohoo is about as awkward as you think it would be. At one point, he actually gets kicked in the face.

He looks pretty into it, though?

Afterward, Jessica excuses herself to the bathroom. Where, ummm, this happens…

Not sure if that’s a really happy post-woohoo face, or a pooping face…

Well, would you look at that.

It is actually required by law for all Sim bathrooms to have a confetti machine installed in the ceiling above the toilet…

I bet none of you saw that coming, right? This chapter is totally not formulaic at all.

Jessica heads out into the hall to find Kaiden lurking creepily outside the bathroom. “Ummm, were you out here listening to me peeing? …Nevermind. Kaiden, sweetums, I have something to tell you.”

“I’m pregnant!” Jessica squeals. At first, Kaiden is understandably dismayed.

“My mom’s gonna kill me!”

But once the initial shock wears off, Kaiden is overwhelmed with happiness. He does have the Big Happy Family aspiration, after all. He’ll just be getting started a little sooner than expected.

Kaiden believes in traditional values, so right then and there, he makes a decision. Right there in the hallway, in his bunny slippers and Batman boxers, he gets down on one knobbly knee and asks Jessica to be his wife.

…Where was he keeping that ring?? 😮

Jessica happily accepts. She holds up her hand to admire her shiny new ring.

While Kaiden stays on the floor gawking at her new baby bump.

The two lovebirds share a tender kiss. This is not how Kaiden expected his day to go, but he couldn’t have wished for anything better.

Meanwhile, Jessica privately hopes that their child will be born with her nose…

Kaiden scoops Jessica up into his arms, sending Jessica into a fit of startled giggles.

But she’s a bit heavier now that she’s with child, and he almost drops her.

Once he regains his balance, she gives him that telltale look again. This girl just cannot get enough of Kaiden’s own “master sword” (Heh, heh). Happy to oblige, he carries her back to the bedroom for round two.

Seriously though, I am way too proud of that master sword joke.

• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Whew! Well. That… was a lot of awkward woohooing. But at least this chapter is finally done! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (once I finally got off my ass and decided to finish it, that is) Check back in like, four months for the wedding, babies, and more in Chapter 12. 😉

Until then, happy simming!