Hello, and welcome back! It has been quite a while since I’ve updated – In fact, as of today, it’s been exactly one year. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say that my real life has hit the fan over the past year, and I have felt too overwhelmed to blog. Plus? Sims 4 was honestly getting really boring for a while. But with some of the more recent expansion/game/stuff packs (especially Parenting!), I’m back into playing the Sims 4. We’ll see how long it lasts this time. I have a couple more challenges that I’m kicking around, so that might keep me engaged for a while.
So hey. Full disclosure. I actually started writing most of this, like, a year ago. I never got around to finishing it until now. So this means that I probably have some pictures that I no longer remember taking, or what I had intended to write about them. Basically, this chapter is going to be a damn circus, as usual, and I’m probably gonna just make some shit up toward the end.
Now, let’s check in on everyone’s favorite family of freaks, the Grosses. In Chapter 11, we saw the kids all grown up and living their first few days in their new homes. As young adults tend to do when they get that first taste of freedom… Everyone got laid as much as possible.
Aaaaand, as Sims in my challenges tend to do, everyone got knocked up.
And Kaiden and Jessica got engaged!
The next morning, Kaiden invites everyone to his house to make the big announcement.
For reasons unknown to me, and probably to him, Kaiden changes his shirt before calling everyone into the living room. He starts out, “I have good news, and better news.” He pauses to wait for someone to ask what’s the good news.
No one does.
“Well, the good news is, Jessica and I are getting married! And the better news is… We’re going to have a baby!”
Precisely zero people respond enthusiastically. In fact, most of them just look annoyed.
Milton is the first to break the silence. “Yeah… Yuki’s pregnant, too.” He doesn’t seem excited.
Neither does Yuki, who started waddling away to the bathroom as soon as Kaiden was finished with his big announcement.
“Ugh. I am, too,” groans Iris. “And fucking PISSED about it, I might add.”
Finally, Slim chimes in from the couch. “Shit, for real? This is so crazy. Elsa’s pregnant, too!”
Wait, where the hell is Elsa? Apparently she wasn’t interested in hearing Kaiden’s big news. She’s been downstairs in the study this whole time, presumably making business calls.
After the announcement, everyone leaves for work. Melody, of course, heads back to that rocket she’s been so obsessed with building lately.
• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •
Later, Slim and Elsa both arrive home from work at the same time. They’re both hungry, and don’t feel like cooking. Luckily, a certain omnipotent and semi-benevolent creator recently* bought the Dine Out pack! So Slim asks Elsa on a dinner date.
Seeing as how they’re about to become parents, they both realize this is the last time they’ll have a chance to do something like this for quite a while. So they go all out, dressed to the nines, and head to one of the nicest restaurants in town – Villa Bovine, which, conveniently, came with the game pack and I did not have to build.
By the way, for some reason, the entire Gross family happens to be here tonight, including Iris, who is dining alone on a bench out front, with no shoes.
Once inside, Slim requests a table from the bald hostess. Why is she bald? Perhaps it’s a fashion statement. More likely, it’s the result of a major custom content purge I did recently. It’s the reason Iris doesn’t have shoes, and why countless townspeople now roam the streets with bald heads, missing articles of clothing, and just generally looking even more fucked up than a Sims townie normally would.
The hostess seats Slim and Elsa at a table, and they are soon visited by a friendly waitress, who is also bald. Elsa orders butternut gnocchi, and Slim orders Italian meatballs.
It takes a while for the food to arrive, and Elsa is NOT happy. At one point, I had to cancel an autonomous action when she tried to get up and help herself to a bowl of cereal from the kitchen. Slim tries his best to distract her from her hunger, with no success.
The waitress finally arrives with the food. Just in time, because Slim was running out of things to say to distract Elsa from her overwhelming pregnancy craving for cereal.
Slim breathes a sigh of relief, while Elsa stuffs her face.
Now that she’s eaten, Elsa is in a much better mood. As they’re getting up to leave, Slim decides it’s now or never. He asks her to wait a moment, gets down on one knee…
And pulls a ring out of his pocket. “Elsa Bjergsen, I am so happy to be the father of your child. I can’t wait to start our new life together. Will you marry me?”
She says, yes, natch.
Slim stands up again and leans in to kiss her. What a beautiful, happy moment.
Which Elsa promptly ruins by jumping up into Slim’s arms. I’m loving the look of sheer panic on his face. At this point in her pregnancy, she weighs more than him, and her sudden, impulsive leap almost sends both of them toppling onto the floor.
The next day, Elsa is looking pretty damn pregnant. She’s due any day now.
Not wanting their baby to be born out of wedlock, she and Slim do what any sensible young couple would do… They head to Oasis Springs for a spur of the moment wedding at the Las Hearts Wedding Chapel, which was built by JessiL, in case you were wondering. I’ve slightly modified it in my game.
The guests start filing in. Here’s Melody, who has made the very bold decision to wear a slutty ballerina costume to her son’s wedding. Also attending are the Bjergsen family, who are meeting their daughter’s fiance and his family for the first time at this wedding. This should be interesting.
Slim takes his place at the wedding arch inside the chapel.
Outside, Elsa takes a deep breath. Is she really ready to marry into this family? She could back out right now. She could hop a bus to San Myshuno. It’s not too late…
But Elsa remembers all the good times she’s had with Slim. Even on that first day when she caught him burning stuff at the ruins, she knew they would be together.
Her resolve strengthened, she heads inside the chapel to walk down the aisle.
She joins her soon to be husband at the altar. Even more so than usual, Slim is looking smooth as fuck.
Slim reaches out to take Elsa’s hand and begins to recite his vows, which he wrote himself. Note that I did not actually bother to write the aforementioned vows, because fuck that, but I assure you they were beautiful and heartfelt.
Having heard Vincenzo’s vows, Elsa’s pre-wedding uncertainty has dissolved. She recites her vows with love and sincerity, and they are just as beautiful as Slim’s words, and I did not bother to write those either.
The two exchange rings…
…And share their first kiss as a married couple.
The newlyweds and their guests head around the side of the chapel to the reception hall for cake and festivities. Everyone is having a great time, basking in the glow of the happy couple. Except Iris, who looks like she’s about to shit herself. She keeps grabbing her belly and making this miserable, panicky face.
But Iris is not experiencing cake-induced digestive trauma. If only! She’s just felt her first contraction, and she is freaking. The fuck. Out. She heads to the bathroom to collect herself. She is not ready for this.
Next thing you know, Iris is at the hospital, waddling through the double doors to the maternity ward.
The contractions are happening more and more frequently now. From the look on her face, the pain must be pretty intense.
With a look of pure dread on her face, she shuffles over to the birthing… device? What the fuck even is that thing? It looks like some kind of torture device from a sci-fi horror movie.
Judging by the look on the doctor’s face, I’d say she’s ready for some torture.
Umm, guys? I don’t think this woman is actually a doctor at all. Pretty sure she’s just plucked out a vital organ. The look of pure panic on Iris’ face is not helping to dismiss my suspicions.
LADY, WHAT THE FUCK.
Miraculously, Iris’ baby is born healthy and unharmed!
It’s a girl! Welcome to the world, baby Skye! Looks like Slut Club has just recruited its first junior member. Iris has somehow not only changed out of her hospital gown, but into a completely different outfit than what she wore to the wedding. She reluctantly picks up her new little bundle of joy for the first time.
As she holds her distastefully pastel-clad baby in her arms, Iris’s black, icy heart begins to thaw a little. Just a little. Let’s not get carried away. But, maybe she can handle having this little one around after all.
Aaaand, that was the last picture I took for this chapter, so I guess this is where it ends. The previous chapter said to expect Kaiden’s wedding, but we got Slim’s instead since his babymomma got pregnant earlier than Kaiden’s. I guess… Next time? Maybe? Who even knows. I don’t plan this shit out ahead of time.
I’m not even going to attempt to predict when I’ll update this series next. Y’all are just going to have to be patient if you’re only in this for the Gross family action (that unintentionally sounded… well, gross). I can say, though, that I’m currently working on another challenge, with at least one additional challenge planned for the future. So if you’re up for something different, stay tuned!
I’ll leave you with this blooper reel shot from Slim’s wedding. Right in the middle of saying their vows, Iris was like “SUP GUYS.” Love that side eye Slim’s giving her.
Thank you for reading, as always. Until next time, happy Simming!