Breed Out the Ugly Challenge: Chapter 12 – (Surprise) Wedding Bells

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Hello, and welcome back! It has been quite a while since I’ve updated – In fact, as of today, it’s been exactly one year. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say that my real life has hit the fan over the past year, and I have felt too overwhelmed to blog. Plus? Sims 4 was honestly getting really boring for a while. But with some of the more recent expansion/game/stuff packs (especially Parenting!), I’m back into playing the Sims 4. We’ll see how long it lasts this time. I have a couple more challenges that I’m kicking around, so that might keep me engaged for a while.

So hey. Full disclosure. I actually started writing most of this, like, a year ago. I never got around to finishing it until now. So this means that I probably have some pictures that I no longer remember taking, or what I had intended to write about them. Basically, this chapter is going to be a damn circus, as usual, and I’m probably gonna just make some shit up toward the end.

Now, let’s check in on everyone’s favorite family of freaks, the Grosses. In Chapter 11, we saw the kids all grown up and living their first few days in their new homes. As young adults tend to do when they get that first taste of freedom… Everyone got laid as much as possible.

Aaaaand, as Sims in my challenges tend to do, everyone got knocked up.

And Kaiden and Jessica got engaged!
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The next morning, Kaiden invites everyone to his house to make the big announcement.
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For reasons unknown to me, and probably to him, Kaiden changes his shirt before calling everyone into the living room. He starts out, “I have good news, and better news.” He pauses to wait for someone to ask what’s the good news.

No one does.

“Well, the good news is, Jessica and I are getting married! And the better news is… We’re going to have a baby!”

Precisely zero people respond enthusiastically. In fact, most of them just look annoyed.

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Except Jessica, who is having some creepy eye issues right now.

Milton is the first to break the silence. “Yeah… Yuki’s pregnant, too.” He doesn’t seem excited.
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Neither does Yuki, who started waddling away to the bathroom as soon as Kaiden was finished with his big announcement.

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But I have to say she looks absolutely adorable with her pregnant belly.

“Ugh. I am, too,” groans Iris. “And fucking PISSED about it, I might add.”
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Finally, Slim chimes in from the couch. “Shit, for real? This is so crazy. Elsa’s pregnant, too!”

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At least he seems happy about it?

Wait, where the hell is Elsa? Apparently she wasn’t interested in hearing Kaiden’s big news. She’s been downstairs in the study this whole time, presumably making business calls.

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Aww, she’s going to make a great neglectful parent someday soon.

After the announcement, everyone leaves for work. Melody, of course, heads back to that rocket she’s been so obsessed with building lately.
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• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Later, Slim and Elsa both arrive home from work at the same time. They’re both hungry, and don’t feel like cooking. Luckily, a certain omnipotent and semi-benevolent creator recently* bought the Dine Out pack! So Slim asks Elsa on a dinner date.

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*Ummmm, so at the time that I wrote that line, “recently” was accurate. But now it’s been a year, so……

Seeing as how they’re about to become parents, they both realize this is the last time they’ll have a chance to do something like this for quite a while. So they go all out, dressed to the nines, and head to one of the nicest restaurants in town – Villa Bovine, which, conveniently, came with the game pack and I did not have to build.

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Ain’t nobody got time for that.

By the way, for some reason, the entire Gross family happens to be here tonight, including Iris, who is dining alone on a bench out front, with no shoes.

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I’m not even going to try to address whatever unnatural horror is happening with that dress.

Once inside, Slim requests a table from the bald hostess. Why is she bald? Perhaps it’s a fashion statement. More likely, it’s the result of a major custom content purge I did recently. It’s the reason Iris doesn’t have shoes, and why countless townspeople now roam the streets with bald heads, missing articles of clothing, and just generally looking even more fucked up than a Sims townie normally would.
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The hostess seats Slim and Elsa at a table, and they are soon visited by a friendly waitress, who is also bald. Elsa orders butternut gnocchi, and Slim orders Italian meatballs.
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It takes a while for the food to arrive, and Elsa is NOT happy. At one point, I had to cancel an autonomous action when she tried to get up and help herself to a bowl of cereal from the kitchen. Slim tries his best to distract her from her hunger, with no success.

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“GET ME SOME FUCKING FOOD NOW, THERE IS A FUCKING BABY IN ME.”

The waitress finally arrives with the food. Just in time, because Slim was running out of things to say to distract Elsa from her overwhelming pregnancy craving for cereal.

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“If I don’t get some fucking Cap’n Crunch right now, I will straight up cut a bitch.”

Slim breathes a sigh of relief, while Elsa stuffs her face.

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No idea what’s going on with Slim’s face in this pic.

Now that she’s eaten, Elsa is in a much better mood. As they’re getting up to leave, Slim decides it’s now or never. He asks her to wait a moment, gets down on one knee…
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And pulls a ring out of his pocket. “Elsa Bjergsen, I am so happy to be the father of your child. I can’t wait to start our new life together. Will you marry me?”
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She says, yes, natch.
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Slim stands up again and leans in to kiss her. What a beautiful, happy moment.
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Which Elsa promptly ruins by jumping up into Slim’s arms. I’m loving the look of sheer panic on his face. At this point in her pregnancy, she weighs more than him, and her sudden, impulsive leap almost sends both of them toppling onto the floor.

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Also… Is Melody on a ladydate with that scantily clad woman back there?? Or is she just a scantily clad friend?

The next day, Elsa is looking pretty damn pregnant. She’s due any day now.

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Nothing like a bathroom grilled cheese to satisfy those pregnancy cravings.

Not wanting their baby to be born out of wedlock, she and Slim do what any sensible young couple would do… They head to Oasis Springs for a spur of the moment wedding at the Las Hearts Wedding Chapel, which was built by JessiL, in case you were wondering. I’ve slightly modified it in my game.

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For instance, that tacky arch that doesn’t fit with any of the other decor was definitely my doing. A year later, I am not sure what I was thinking when I added that.

The guests start filing in. Here’s Melody, who has made the very bold decision to wear a slutty ballerina costume to her son’s wedding. Also attending are the Bjergsen family, who are meeting their daughter’s fiance and his family for the first time at this wedding. This should be interesting.
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Slim takes his place at the wedding arch inside the chapel.

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Which, thankfully, looks slightly less tacky than the one outside.

Outside, Elsa takes a deep breath. Is she really ready to marry into this family? She could back out right now. She could hop a bus to San Myshuno. It’s not too late…
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But Elsa remembers all the good times she’s had with Slim. Even on that first day when she caught him burning stuff at the ruins, she knew they would be together.

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Look, she was going through a CC phase back then, okay? Don’t judge. Like you didn’t dress weird when you were a teenager.

Her resolve strengthened, she heads inside the chapel to walk down the aisle.

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I swear she really does want to do this. She’s just uncomfortable, you know, because there’s a person growing inside of her.

She joins her soon to be husband at the altar. Even more so than usual, Slim is looking smooth as fuck.
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Slim reaches out to take Elsa’s hand and begins to recite his vows, which he wrote himself. Note that I did not actually bother to write the aforementioned vows, because fuck that, but I assure you they were beautiful and heartfelt.

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Honestly I just needed an excuse to include this picture, because it’s so freaking cute OMG.

Having heard Vincenzo’s vows, Elsa’s pre-wedding uncertainty has dissolved. She recites her vows with love and sincerity, and they are just as beautiful as Slim’s words, and I did not bother to write those either.

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Look, if I knew anything about how to have a successful relationship, I probably wouldn’t be spending my free time writing a Sims blog at age 30. Anyway, this picture is also so cute OMG.

The two exchange rings…

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Not sure what Iris is doing back there? Also I just noticed she is still not wearing shoes.

…And share their first kiss as a married couple.

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Aaaand of course Milt has only just now arrived. Along with… Is that an elderly Bella Goth? WTF even is this wedding.

The newlyweds and their guests head around the side of the chapel to the reception hall for cake and festivities. Everyone is having a great time, basking in the glow of the happy couple. Except Iris, who looks like she’s about to shit herself. She keeps grabbing her belly and making this miserable, panicky face.

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“What the fuck did you put in that cake?”

But Iris is not experiencing cake-induced digestive trauma. If only! She’s just felt her first contraction, and she is freaking. The fuck. Out. She heads to the bathroom to collect herself. She is not ready for this.

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That look on her face… Just pure resignation.

Next thing you know, Iris is at the hospital, waddling through the double doors to the maternity ward.

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I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in pastels before… It’s somehow scarier than all the black she normally wears.

The contractions are happening more and more frequently now. From the look on her face, the pain must be pretty intense.

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That belly. Is MASSIVE.

With a look of pure dread on her face, she shuffles over to the birthing… device? What the fuck even is that thing? It looks like some kind of torture device from a sci-fi horror movie.

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Sim birth is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen.

Judging by the look on the doctor’s face, I’d say she’s ready for some torture.

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Okay, I take it back, this is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen.

Umm, guys? I don’t think this woman is actually a doctor at all. Pretty sure she’s just plucked out a vital organ. The look of pure panic on Iris’ face is not helping to dismiss my suspicions.

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The nurse seems pretty chill about it, though.

LADY, WHAT THE FUCK.

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The miracle of life ❤

Miraculously, Iris’ baby is born healthy and unharmed!

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And not blue!

It’s a girl! Welcome to the world, baby Skye! Looks like Slut Club has just recruited its first junior member. Iris has somehow not only changed out of her hospital gown, but into a completely different outfit than what she wore to the wedding. She reluctantly picks up her new little bundle of joy for the first time.

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Despite every bone in her body screaming, “NOPE.”

As she holds her distastefully pastel-clad baby in her arms, Iris’s black, icy heart begins to thaw a little. Just a little. Let’s not get carried away. But, maybe she can handle having this little one around after all.

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For now.

Aaaand, that was the last picture I took for this chapter, so I guess this is where it ends. The previous chapter said to expect Kaiden’s wedding, but we got Slim’s instead since his babymomma got pregnant earlier than Kaiden’s. I guess… Next time? Maybe? Who even knows. I don’t plan this shit out ahead of time.

I’m not even going to attempt to predict when I’ll update this series next. Y’all are just going to have to be patient if you’re only in this for the Gross family action (that unintentionally sounded… well, gross). I can say, though, that I’m currently working on another challenge, with at least one additional challenge planned for the future. So if you’re up for something different, stay tuned!

I’ll leave you with this blooper reel shot from Slim’s wedding. Right in the middle of saying their vows, Iris was like “SUP GUYS.” Love that side eye Slim’s giving her.

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“For fuck’s sake, Iris, for just one day can you not be the center of attention?”

Thank you for reading, as always. Until next time, happy Simming!

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