Breed Out the Ugly Challenge: Chapter 13 – Dr. Crazyeyes

Standard

Hello, and welcome back to the Breed Out the Ugly Challenge! Last chapter was fairly eventful.  We joined Slim and Elsa at their wedding…
06-21-16_2-49-52 PM

And Iris had a healthy baby girl named Skye.

06-21-16_3-26-36 PM

I for one am very impressed with the effort Iris put into her makeup immediately after giving birth.

Speaking of which, let’s check in on the new mom, shall we? Iris has returned to her dim, gloomy tudor house in Windenburg. She’s adjusting to parenthood, albeit a bit reluctantly.

07-02-17_2-34-17 PM

I love how Skye looks up at Iris so adoringly, and Iris just looks like… “Ugh.”

But the more time she spends at home, the more she feels like something just isn’t quite right. While her house is suitably dark and dreary on the inside, she’s always found Windenburg a but too… cheerful. And definitely way, way too sunny.

07-02-17_2-37-28 PM

So… bright… Must… go back inside…

She had thought that as old as the town is, it would be spookier. Maybe some ghosts here and there. But other than the Von Haunt Estate, and the occasional ghost night at the pub, the town is less Are You Afraid of the Dark, and more Leave it to Beaver. This is no place to start a goth family!* So Iris goes to Gregslist to find a more suitable place.

07-02-17_2-39-34 PM

*Not to be confused with the Goth family.

Success! She’s found a lovely little fixer-upper in Forgotten Hollow. She’s always wanted to visit the area. She’s even heard rumors that there are real, live undead vampires there! This will be the ideal place to do some extensive research for that smutty vampire novel she wants to write. Iris takes the plunge and buys the house, sight unseen. It looks decent enough in the pictures, anyway… So she immediately begins packing and getting ready to move out.

07-02-17_3-31-15 PM

Confession: I had way too much fun and spent way too much time arranging all this shit. Also, I just realized one of the boxes is floating. Maybe the house is haunted after all?

Packing doesn’t take too long, so she’s ready to move out that same day. She arrives at her new house in the evening. It’s… pretty run-down. Cracks in the walls, barely any grass, and the trees all seem to be dead. An old farmhouse, from the looks of it. Not that you could really grow much here. There doesn’t seem to be enough sunlight….

07-02-17_4-07-26 PM

Plenty of moonlight, though!

“It’s perfect!”
07-02-17_5-23-59 PM

You’re damn right it is. In a rare fit of inspiration, I actually built this one. And while it’s simple, I must say I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. And of course I had to give it the Haunted and Vampire Nexus traits.

Anyway, Iris is very happy with her new house, and to celebrate, she’s having the family over for a dinner party. Milton and Slim arrive first and let themselves in while Iris is busy chopping tomatoes for the salad.

07-02-17_5-33-35 PM

Iris is always the most at peace with a knife in her hand.

Melody, always known for her bold partywear, strolls in wearing her witch costume from Chapter 4. Because of course she would. At least it fits the vibe of the spooky house?

07-02-17_5-43-38 PM.png

This is what I get for never changing anyone’s outfits.

Elsa has just waddled in looking pregnant as fuck. Damn, girl.

07-02-17_5-47-10 PM

She had better not be having fucking twins.

Speaking of pregnant women, here come Kaiden and Jessica. And Jessica is looking very pregnant herself.

07-02-17_5-48-47 PM

Still shooting Kaiden those fuck-me eyes, though.

Despite their huge, awkward bellies and swollen feet, these girls still know how to party. They are fucking TURNT. This party is LIT. Do kids still say either of those? I’m fucking thirty.

07-02-17_5-54-25 PM.png

Krunk? …Hyphy???

Back in the dining room, Iris has called the guests to dinner. Everyone gathers at the table to enjoy a nice hearty… salad. Sorry guys, one of the party goals was to cook a salad. No other food required to get gold at this party. Kind of a shitty dinner party, if you ask me.

07-02-17_6-01-42 PM.png

Also? Not enough chairs. 3/10, Would not attend this dinner party again.

Well, well, well, look who’s late to the party! Yuki doesn’t give a fuck. She waltzes right into that kitchen and grabs a leftover salad from the fridge.

07-02-17_10-25-13 PM

Dig the bunny socks, Yuki. And the godawful pastel yellow skirt that is shaped really weird. I totally dig both of those things.

The party is a success! Iris takes home the gold – and wins a coffee maker and pot rack, which she immediately sells, because she needs simoleons BAD. The only person who doesn’t seem like she’s having a good time is Yuki, who looks like she’s going to start crying into her salad.

07-02-17_10-38-25 PM

Look, I don’t come to your house and complain about the food.

Yeah, something is definitely wrong here…

07-02-17_10-38-45 PM

Not that Kaiden can tell. He’s just standing there, grinning like an idiot, as usual.

Yuki drops her salad bowl on the floor and clutches her stomach. Kaiden continues his grinning routine, but to spice things up a little, he also adds posing like a jackass to the mix.
07-02-17_10-41-29 PM

 

Yuki is about to double over in pain. She’s clearly in labor, but Kaiden is still oblivious. Either that or he’s so unequipped to deal with this situation, he’s just completely shut down. Pretty sure his eyes have rolled into the back of his head in this picture.

07-02-17_10-44-17 PM

“Shoot, you dropped your salad! Let me get that for you.”

“KAIDEN YOU HAT-WEARING DIPSHIT, I DO NOT NEED SALAD, I NEED A FUCKING HOSPITAL.”

07-02-17_10-44-42 PM

WTF is up with her body shape right now tho.

Yuki and Milton rush off to the hospital, and we’ll get to that in a minute, but first… I JUST CAUGHT THESE FUCKERS FLIRTING IN THE BATHROOM. I didn’t get a picture in time, but I caught Kaiden giving Elsa a goddamn rose! And she accepted it! And then flirted back! Kaiden, that is YOUR BROTHER’S WIFE. She is PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD. YOU’RE FUCKING ENGAGED.

07-02-17_11-30-05 PM

WHAT THE FUCK.

…Okay! So. Moving right past that shitshow… Milton and Yuki have reached the hospital. Milton’s in the background doing the “pre-parental panic” shuffle. Yuki, despite not having actually entered the hospital yet, is somehow already wearing a hospital gown.

07-02-17_11-35-52 PM

Do you just carry that with you wherever you go?

Aaaand just when you thought this night couldn’t get any more stupid, the doctor shows up in her fucking bra and PJ pants, grinning maniacally at the night sky. I guess this is another side effect of that custom content purge I did before Chapter 12? Still, you’d think the game would have put her back in the default doctor labcoat.

07-02-17_11-36-53 PM

Yuki’s side-eye is 1,000% warranted.

Wait… I knew I recognized those crazy eyes from somewhere. This is the same psycho doctor that delivered Iris’ baby! Oh, haaaaale no. Not again. This can’t be happening.

06-21-16_3-23-08 PM

Oh, but it’s happening. It’s happening just like it did last time. Just like it does every time, with the standing, and the staring, and the NOT DELIVERING BABIES.

07-02-17_11-37-26 PM

But this time we’ve added deranged grinning, at no extra charge!

OH GOOD, NOW THERE’S A GHOST. He just popped into frame as I was taking screenshots. He actually legitimately startled me, which I guess means he’s doing a good job? Of being a ghost, I mean. Not of delivering babies.

07-02-17_11-37-51 PM

What the fuck even is this hospital.

Finally, after like, half an hour, the doctor jogs into the hospital while Yuki waddles in behind her. She casts a desperate look over her shoulder at Milton, who… I guess has decided to just stay out here?

07-02-17_11-38-59 PM

“PLEASE SAVE ME.”

I thought maybe once she went inside the hospital, you know, her place of work? The doctor just might put a fucking shirt on. But no. No, that’s not happening. Yuki trails behind her in disbelief.

07-02-17_11-44-27 PM

That wide-eyed, empty grin has not left her face this whole time. It’s starting to freak me out.

The doctor shoots her a creepy smile as they walk through the double doors to the delivery room. Yuki is in a state of near panic. She has no idea if she or her baby, or shit, even the doctor, will make it out of this unharmed.

07-02-17_11-45-03 PM

HOW IS THIS WOMAN A DOCTOR?!

 

She tries to reason with herself as she climbs into the birthing monstrosity. Dr. Crazyeyes delivered Iris’ baby, and she and the baby turned out fine…
07-02-17_11-45-52 PM

But as she looks up over the monitor at the doctor’s dead-eyed grin, she finds it hard to reassure herself. Where the fuck is Milton?!

07-02-17_11-49-29 PM.png

…At least she’s in a better mood this time?

Well, speak of the devil. He’s finally come running down the hall, as if he’s just now realized how serious this situation is.

07-02-17_11-48-42 PM

Still doing the panic dance, I see. Cool, cool. Very useful.

When Dr. Crazyeyes sees Milton come stumbling into the room, she finally stops smiling and shoots him this look over the top of the monitor.

07-02-17_11-52-07 PM

I spoke too soon. There’s that demon-possessed look I remember so fondly.

Milton shoots a look right back.

07-02-17_11-50-03 PM

He looks like an angry chicken.

And then he resumes panicking, hopping up and down like a toddler on a sugar high.

07-02-17_11-50-54 PM

Real smooth, Milt. She’s sure to know you mean business now.

Finally, after what seems like hours, Yuki has given birth to a healthy baby girl named Camille.

07-02-17_11-54-38 PM

Check out that thousand yard stare, though.

Also, I just realized that babies in the Sims four are born with a full set of fucking teeth. That may well be the most disturbing thing we’ve seen here tonight.

07-02-17_11-55-51 PM

Also, this baby looks high AF.

Wait… Where the fuck is Milton? Oh, hell no. Do not tell me you missed your baby’s birth to watch the Cooking Channel in the goddamn waiting room.

07-02-17_11-53-28 PM

What is wrong with the men in this family?

Meanwhile, the doctor still hasn’t left her post at the birthing machine. And now that Milton’s out of the room, she’s back to grinning.

07-03-17_12-53-11 AM.png

And, if I may remind you, is still not wearing a shirt.

Oh well. I guess if you can’t beat ’em… Join ’em.

07-03-17_12-55-23 AM.png

Oh god. Please at least keep your shirt on.

Welllll, that’s the end of this chapter. Mostly because I am thoroughly creeped out by all the grinning. I’m not sure if shit can get much weirder than the events that took place tonight, but then, this is the Sims. So tune in next time, for… whatever nonsense ends up happening. It should be obvious by now that the outcome of each chapter is largely out of my control.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed playing and writing it. Seriously, the absurdity had me laughing out loud more than once. Thanks as always for reading, and until next time, happy Simming!

 

Septuplets Challenge: Chapter 1 – Cry Me a River

Standard

Hello, and welcome to the first chapter of what I’m almost certain will be the most infuriating challenge I have ever attempted. If you haven’t already, you can check out the Introduction post to read all the details. This chapter might read a little differently than you’re used to – I’m going to start off with a bit of backstory, some of which I don’t actually have pictures for because I came up with this more than a year after I started playing this Sim. So without further ado…

Here’s the story…

Of a lovely lady…
06-06-17_8-40-36 PM

…Who was bringing up seven fucking babies what the fuck.

06-09-17_4-13-36 PM

Nooooooope.

Listed in order from left to right, we have Blaze, Rosie, Lila, Alyse, Lucia, Rochelle, and Adrian. Each baby was named, of course, by selecting the first name provided by the in-game randomizer, which is why her son is named fucking Blaze. And of course, their mother, Ember Rojo, also named by the randomizer, which is how you get a redhead named Ember whose last name literally means “red”. I didn’t pick this cheesy name on purpose, guys, I promise.

Not pictured above: Ember’s scumbag ex-fiance, Randall Testaverde.

06-09-17_3-57-27 PM

Brows on fleek, tho.

Randall seemed perfect at first. He was handsome, well-dressed, and romantic. He took her to fancy restaurants, paid for lavish vacations… She wondered sometimes how he could afford it, when he lived in such a modest house. But he said he had a good job as a regional manager at Dewey, Cheatam, & Howe. She figured they must pay well.

Ember wasn’t keen on trying to get pregnant before they were even married, but Randall said he wanted to be a father – said he wanted a son to carry on his legacy, and couldn’t wait to start trying. But she was having trouble conceiving. What’s a family-oriented Sim to do? She found a doctor who was willing to let her try an experimental fertility treatment – and it worked!.

She found out she was indeed pregnant – with septuplets. She called Randall hoping to tell him the good news, but suddenly, he was nowhere to be found. At first she thought, maybe he’s on another last minute business trip, and didn’t think anything of it.

But after a week when he hadn’t returned or even called, she was getting worried. She went to his house to try and find some sign of his whereabouts. Instead, she found gadgets, night vision goggles, weapons, and a closet full of expensive tuxes. He had been lying this whole time. He wasn’t a regional manager, he was a goddamned secret agent! Tucked back on a shelf behind a row of James Bond tuxes, she found a box full of mementos – from the other women he’d been woohooing behind her back!

Ember was furious. She called and left a message saying she still wasn’t pregnant, that she wanted to try again. And hey, what do you know, suddenly he was back in town! But when she answered the door, he knew immediately that he’d made a mistake.

06-09-17_7-42-08 PM

Hell hath no fury like a babymomma’s scorn.

She told him what she’d found. He was shocked. He tried to deny it, but she wasn’t having it.
06-09-17_7-47-17 PM

So next he turned on the waterworks, spewing out crocodile tears and “I’m so sorrys.”

06-09-17_7-45-45 PM

Still not having it.

When that didn’t work, he dropped the act, finally revealing himself as the sociopath he’d been all along. His face went cold, with a look of malice she had never seen before.
06-09-17_7-46-05 PM

She told him to leave. Out on the front porch, he suddenly turned apologetic again. He pleaded for her to give him another chance. He could change!

06-09-17_7-39-34 PM

Amount of fucks given by Ember: 0.

Finally, he grew enraged. He screamed obscenities and lunged toward Ember, but stopped just short of hitting her.  To this day, she believes that the only thing that kept him from attacking her was the fact that the neighbors could see.
06-09-17_7-41-12 PM

After that stunt, she was done. She slammed the door and locked it behind her, leaving him slumped and defeated on the porch. It was the last time she ever saw or spoke to him.

06-09-17_7-43-33 PM

Is it bad that I find it extremely satisfying that he looks so dejected?

Hoooo! I did not know I was going to write such a dramatic backstory when I started this chapter. Or that I am apparently so cool with breaking the fourth wall so casually. Aaaaanyway.

Fast forward nine months (how time flies, it really only felt like three days!), and Ember’s got herself a whole room fulla babies. She starts off her day by breastfeeding each one, starting with Adrian. The game finds this obscene enough to censor, because she’s obviously being such a SLUT.

06-09-17_4-15-47 PM

Like… What is there even to censor, it’s not like Sims have nipples.

Ember obviously can’t afford daycare for seven infants, so she’s unable to work. Currently, she has almost $3,500, which is certainly enough for one adult to live on for a while. But with seven kids, it won’t last long. So she uses what little spare time she has to work on her paintings, which she sells for extra cash.
06-09-17_7-54-15 PM

Did I neglect to mention that she also has the insane trait? So sometimes she just kind of… does… this.

06-09-17_7-59-48 PM

Cool, cool, good to know.

Her painting time doesn’t last long today. A really fun side effect of feeding every baby at the same time, is that they all poop at the same time. And also, sometimes they just poop whenever.

06-09-17_7-55-04 PM

The whole room is filled with noxious green fumes.

After she goes down the line changing all seven diapers, Adrian starts crying for food again. And then Rochelle, and then Lucia… As soon as Ember starts feeding one baby, the next one starts crying. Eventually, she can’t keep up and has multiple babies crying at once. This cycle repeats multiple times throughout the day.

06-09-17_8-05-41 PM

I can’t even handle the obscenity in this picture.

Finally, they’ve all stopped crying for a while. At 8:40 p.m., Ember has enough time to enjoy half a grilled cheese sandwich while watching the World Culture Network. She looks shellshocked.

06-09-17_8-08-05 PM

So… much… poop.

Aaaaand, Rosie’s crying again.

06-09-17_11-08-00 PM.png

Can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that Ember Rojo (Spanish for red) has a daughter named Rosie Rojo? Rosie Red. COOL NAME, BRO.

She’s tried everything, and somehow, making this face is the only thing that will console her.

06-09-17_11-10-43 PM.png

Or possibly she’s just losing her mind.

At 11:00, after putting Rosie back to bed and changing Alyse’s diaper, Ember can be found in the shower. Crying.

06-09-17_11-14-27 PM

Who doesn’t love a good shower cry?

Oh haaaaaale no. Ain’t nobody got time for your bullshit tonight, Vlad. I swear, this guy is at every Sim’s door, every night, in every save file I have. Fuck this guy.

06-09-17_11-50-23 PM.png

Unless you wanna help change diapers, then by all means, let yourself in! Oh wait. YOU CAN’T. BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T FUCKING INVITED. OOOOH, VAMPIRE BURN.

An hour later, he’s still at it. Give it a rest, dude.

06-09-17_11-58-17 PM

One time, Vlad showed up to my scientist Sim’s house while he was sleeping, and broke into the fucking house to drink his blood “plasma”. So I had the scientist use the freeze ray on him. He thawed out after sunrise and died. My most shining achievement in the Sims 4 to date.

Ember finally manages to go to bed and get some shut-eye. But she’s fallen into such a deep sleep, she doesn’t wake up when not one but three of her babies are crying.

06-10-17_12-03-17 AM

During times like these, I wonder what my neighbors think when they hear a chorus of screaming babies coming from my apartment.

So I’ve swapped the full size wall joining the bedrooms for a half wall, and replaced the door with an archway. Hopefully now she’ll hear it from her bed? I don’t know if the game actually works that way.

06-10-17_12-05-10 AM

More likely, all I’ve done is ensured that she will go out of her way to put every single dirty plate on top of that ledge when she’s done eating.

Sure, Ember, stop mid-feeding cycle to do this bullshit with a question mark over your head, that’s totally what I wanted you to do right now! How are you route-failing? There’s nothing in your way. The room is literally a straight line of babies.

06-10-17_12-19-02 AM.png

You’ve got three more kids to feed and three diapers to change, what the fuck are you even doing right now.

Meanwhile, outside Ember’s House… Something has gone terribly glitchy in my game, and is causing all of the expansion pack characters to wear different clothes than their original defaults.

06-10-17_12-24-01 AM

I just don’t know how to react to that outfit. Or the flower in Caleb Vitore’s hair.

What is the damn problem with Rosie?? I swear this kid has colic or something. She cries more often than any other baby.
06-10-17_12-28-40 AM

Welp. Confirmed that the half wall and arch don’t work. Adrian’s in here wailing away and Ember’s still sawing logs in the next room over.

06-10-17_12-35-27 AM

Though I can’t say I’d blame her if she was just pretending not to hear him…

Sorry Ember, but you’ve lost your wall privileges.
06-10-17_12-38-43 AM

Okay, fuck it, no wall. She is still sleeping through the crying.

06-10-17_12-45-54 AM.png

And still feeding her babies in the sluttiest way possible.

Now Adrian’s the problem child. He won’t stop crying even though he’s been freshly changed and fed. Plus, Rochelle has a dirty diaper, and Alyse is crying for reasons unknown as well. I don’t even know how many days into this we are anymore, they just blend together because Ember is constantly tending to the babies. I think it’s almost their birthday…

06-10-17_12-36-21 PM

Dear god, I hope it’s almost their birthday…

It just won’t end today. Now we have Blaze, Lila, Alyse, and Rochelle crying simultaneously. All fed, all changed, all screaming. It’s like a nightmare.

06-10-17_12-42-45 PM

On the plus side, Ember’s parenting skill is already at 5.

It’s been four hours now of nonstop crying, feeding, changing, and silly-face-making. Rosie will NOT. STOP. CRYING. Ember is losing it. Her hunger meter is in the yellow and her fun is in the red. The only glimmer of hope is the notification that today is Blaze’s birthday – meaning that the other seven notifications will follow within the next 24 hours, and we can finally age these little assholes up.

06-10-17_1-02-01 PM.png

I don’t even feel bad about calling them assholes.

Finally, finally(!), they all stop crying long enough for Ember to sit down in front of the TV with a grilled cheese sandwich. It’s after 6:00 pm, and this is the first thing she’s eaten all day.

06-10-17_1-08-19 PM

Note the plate from yesterday’s grilled cheese, still sitting out on the table, emitting toxic fumes.

But her quiet dinner doesn’t last long. She flinches as Alyse and Rochelle both start crying in stereo.

06-10-17_1-09-45 PM

“Can I just watch the fucking cooking channel in peace?!”

Oh thank god. Ember has reached parenting skill level 6. She’s finally gained the ability to see what her babies need. And we’ve gotten three more birthday notifications. Only four to go and we can finally age these screaming poop factories up.

06-10-17_1-36-11 PM

“Who’s mommy’s little shitmaker? You are! You are!

Ember’s fun level is in the yellow again, and her energy is in the red. And those last three birthday notifications have yet to come. She’s at the end of her rope.

06-10-17_1-39-50 PM

I feel ya, girl, I really do.

Even with no wall to separate her from the babies’ room, Ember still fucking sleeps through the crying! I give up.

06-10-17_1-46-27 PM.png

Note that, despite sleeping, her plumbob is still orange.

Now that Ember can check to see why her babies are crying, it turns out they’re all low on socialization. Despite the constant feeding, changing, rocking, and silly faces. What a bunch of needy babies! But on the plus side, I just got the notification for Lucia and Rochelle’s birthday. Only Adrian is left! And then finally, sweet, sweet freedom.

06-10-17_1-51-04 PM

LOL JK YOU’RE GONNA HAVE SEVEN TODDLERS.

Ember is now close to hitting rock bottom. It’s 5:46 in the morning, her fun is extremely low, her hygiene is low enough that she’s emitting stink clouds, and she’s about to pass out. Dear god, let Adrian’s birthday notification come soon.
06-10-17_1-59-58 PM

Oh my god. SWEET BABY JAYZUS, THANK YOU.

Adrian's Birthday

Yeah, time sure fucking flies, doesn’t it?

So I hate to leave you all on a cliffhanger buuuut… That’s exactly what I’m going to do. I hope you liked the first chapter of this new challenge. I’m having a lot of fun with it so far, when I’m not cursing and tearing my hair out. Tune in next time to see what kind of toddlers these assholes grow up to be. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait!

06-10-17_1-55-16 PM

And neither can Ember!

Thanks as always for reading, and until next time, happy Simming!

Septuplets Challenge: Introduction and Rules

Standard

Hey guys! As I mentioned in my last post, real life and the Breed out the Ugly Challenge had me so overwhelmed, I didn’t post for a year. But I’ve been getting back into the Sims again, and with the new Parenting game pack I’ve been wanting to try a few different challenges. So while I will of course continue blogging the Gross family’s saga, I will also be blogging at least one other challenge, as more of a just-for-fun thing.

I’m going to start with what I’m calling the Septuplets Challenge.

06-06-17_11-39-22 PM

Even just looking at this picture, I’m already getting anxiety.

I don’t claim to have invented this concept or anything. I’ve found a couple of variations on this. The Seven Toddler Challenge was pretty popular after the toddler update came out. You can find James Turner’s original video here or view the basic rules here. But my version has a twist… I’m starting off with seven babies. I did find one blogger doing this in Sims 3 for a series they called Septomom, which I found thoroughly entertaining.

Fair warning: I’m making this up as I go. Here are the basic rules I’ve come up with:

  • Start off with one adult and seven babies. Mods* (or possibly cheats?) are necessary to accomplish this.
  • I’m playing on the normal lifespan.
  • I’m avoiding custom content/mods that would make items significantly cheaper or offer a higher motive increase than the standard in-game items – the exception is the parent’s bed. Because there is no way a parent of seven is going to get enough sleep on those cheap Maxis beds. If you want to be stricter or looser with this rule, go ahead. The kids are still super difficult to care for, regardless.
  • No money or motive cheats.
  • No aspiration rewards like the Sleep Replacement potion. I think traits like Speedy Cleaner and Frugal and any of the ones that boost the skill points earned are okay, but no rewards that fulfill basic needs or slow down need decay.
  • No nannies, maids, or butlers. You can hire a repairman/woman if you want (because honestly what normal person knows how to fix a fridge anyway?), but I’m trying to avoid it
  • The mysteriously free “daycare” option is definitely not allowed.
  • The donor parent cannot visit and help with any parenting duties.
  • Guests are not allowed until after the toddler stage is complete – as guests tend to butt in and try to care for the children.
  • The home parent cannot leave the home lot while the children are still babies. During the toddler and child stage, all seven children would have to go with the parent. Or if they’re at school, the parent can leave but must be back before the children arrive home. Because this is Amurrica, land of “no child left behind”.
  • The home parent can roam the home neighborhood (while the home lot is still the active lot) to collect items or interact with other Sims, but it’s best to stay close to the house during the baby and toddler stages.
  • The home parent can’t have a job outside the home. Honestly, I don’t know that they’ll have time to even try a stay-at-home job from the City Living pack, but try it if you dare – just don’t let them leave the house without taking all seven kids.
  • The home parent and children are allowed and encouraged to make money at home from any hobbies, collecting objects, etc.
  • The only exceptions for earning money are dates and frog breeding. The parent cannot sell the ice bucket thingies from gold level dates. Frogs can be collected from the wild and sold, but the can’t be bred. That would just be too easy, if you have eight people breeding $120 Whirlyflower frogs every day. The exception to the frog breeding restriction is if a Sim has the Curator aspiration. They can breed strategically for the sake of completing the collection, but not just to breed expensive frogs to sell.
  • None of the children can be aged up early, at any life stage. They’re septuplets, after all, it wouldn’t make sense for some of them to be at different life stages than their siblings. They can be aged up with birthday cake once the game has announced “It’s So-and-So’s birthday!” for all seven children.
  • Above all, the goal of the challenge is survival and avoiding any children being taken away by Social Services.
  • I haven’t decided yet if the challenge ends when the kids age up to teens, or if I’ll make it last until young adulthood. If you don’t have the Parenting pack, it might not be much of a challenge after the teen stage, as teens are 100% capable of taking care of themselves.

*Regarding the mods I used: I started off using scumbobo’s Auto-Pause Pregnancy mod, but this was broken a long time ago by one of EA’s countless mod-ruining patches. I recently downloaded Deaderpool’s MC Command Center, which has the same function, and so much more.

Basically what I did was set up a house with a single woman, and another house with a single man, and they fell in love. He impregnated her, and then I played his lot for three days, allowing her pregnancy to still progress.

The mod has a function that alerts the player when the pregnant Sim is going into labor. The player then has the option to either allow the birth to occur on its own, or keep the labor paused and load the pregnant Sim’s lot in order to continue with the birth. (FYI, this is how I managed the four simultaneous pregnancies for the Breed Out the Ugly Challenge!) So, I would switch over to the mom’s lot, let her give birth, then switch back to the dad’s lot and immediately get her pregnant again. Lather, rinse, repeat, until you have seven babies, all still on day 1 of their lifespan.

The home parent doesn’t have to be a cis female. If you want to make a trans male or nonbinary, agender, etc. Sim who is capable of becoming pregnant, go for it! As well, the father/sperm donor doesn’t have to be the same for each baby – Through the miracle of modern medical Sim science, maybe the home parent got pregnant using sperm from seven different donors. Whatever fits the story you’re going for.

I may come up with a points/scoring system in the future. Or I may just leave it as is, with the overall goal being to just survive without getting any kids taken away. If I do add a points system, I will update this page with the rules for scoring. And I’ll link back to this page in whatever chapter I happen to be posting at the time. Any suggestions on scoring are welcome in the comments!

Breed Out the Ugly Challenge: Chapter 12 – (Surprise) Wedding Bells

Standard

Hello, and welcome back! It has been quite a while since I’ve updated – In fact, as of today, it’s been exactly one year. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say that my real life has hit the fan over the past year, and I have felt too overwhelmed to blog. Plus? Sims 4 was honestly getting really boring for a while. But with some of the more recent expansion/game/stuff packs (especially Parenting!), I’m back into playing the Sims 4. We’ll see how long it lasts this time. I have a couple more challenges that I’m kicking around, so that might keep me engaged for a while.

So hey. Full disclosure. I actually started writing most of this, like, a year ago. I never got around to finishing it until now. So this means that I probably have some pictures that I no longer remember taking, or what I had intended to write about them. Basically, this chapter is going to be a damn circus, as usual, and I’m probably gonna just make some shit up toward the end.

Now, let’s check in on everyone’s favorite family of freaks, the Grosses. In Chapter 11, we saw the kids all grown up and living their first few days in their new homes. As young adults tend to do when they get that first taste of freedom… Everyone got laid as much as possible.

Aaaaand, as Sims in my challenges tend to do, everyone got knocked up.

And Kaiden and Jessica got engaged!
04-02-16_5-59-22 PM

The next morning, Kaiden invites everyone to his house to make the big announcement.
06-20-16_12-00-03 PM

For reasons unknown to me, and probably to him, Kaiden changes his shirt before calling everyone into the living room. He starts out, “I have good news, and better news.” He pauses to wait for someone to ask what’s the good news.

No one does.

“Well, the good news is, Jessica and I are getting married! And the better news is… We’re going to have a baby!”

Precisely zero people respond enthusiastically. In fact, most of them just look annoyed.

06-20-16_12-34-29 PM

Except Jessica, who is having some creepy eye issues right now.

Milton is the first to break the silence. “Yeah… Yuki’s pregnant, too.” He doesn’t seem excited.
06-20-16_12-37-44 PM

Neither does Yuki, who started waddling away to the bathroom as soon as Kaiden was finished with his big announcement.

06-20-16_12-36-06 PM

But I have to say she looks absolutely adorable with her pregnant belly.

“Ugh. I am, too,” groans Iris. “And fucking PISSED about it, I might add.”
06-20-16_12-38-28 PM

Finally, Slim chimes in from the couch. “Shit, for real? This is so crazy. Elsa’s pregnant, too!”

06-20-16_12-39-57 PM

At least he seems happy about it?

Wait, where the hell is Elsa? Apparently she wasn’t interested in hearing Kaiden’s big news. She’s been downstairs in the study this whole time, presumably making business calls.

06-20-16_1-42-08 PM

Aww, she’s going to make a great neglectful parent someday soon.

After the announcement, everyone leaves for work. Melody, of course, heads back to that rocket she’s been so obsessed with building lately.
06-20-16_2-10-57 PM

• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Later, Slim and Elsa both arrive home from work at the same time. They’re both hungry, and don’t feel like cooking. Luckily, a certain omnipotent and semi-benevolent creator recently* bought the Dine Out pack! So Slim asks Elsa on a dinner date.

06-20-16_2-31-20 PM

*Ummmm, so at the time that I wrote that line, “recently” was accurate. But now it’s been a year, so……

Seeing as how they’re about to become parents, they both realize this is the last time they’ll have a chance to do something like this for quite a while. So they go all out, dressed to the nines, and head to one of the nicest restaurants in town – Villa Bovine, which, conveniently, came with the game pack and I did not have to build.

06-20-16_2-34-36 PM

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

By the way, for some reason, the entire Gross family happens to be here tonight, including Iris, who is dining alone on a bench out front, with no shoes.

06-20-16_2-38-32 PM

I’m not even going to try to address whatever unnatural horror is happening with that dress.

Once inside, Slim requests a table from the bald hostess. Why is she bald? Perhaps it’s a fashion statement. More likely, it’s the result of a major custom content purge I did recently. It’s the reason Iris doesn’t have shoes, and why countless townspeople now roam the streets with bald heads, missing articles of clothing, and just generally looking even more fucked up than a Sims townie normally would.
06-20-16_2-39-35 PM

The hostess seats Slim and Elsa at a table, and they are soon visited by a friendly waitress, who is also bald. Elsa orders butternut gnocchi, and Slim orders Italian meatballs.
06-20-16_2-42-49 PM

It takes a while for the food to arrive, and Elsa is NOT happy. At one point, I had to cancel an autonomous action when she tried to get up and help herself to a bowl of cereal from the kitchen. Slim tries his best to distract her from her hunger, with no success.

06-20-16_2-43-38 PM

“GET ME SOME FUCKING FOOD NOW, THERE IS A FUCKING BABY IN ME.”

The waitress finally arrives with the food. Just in time, because Slim was running out of things to say to distract Elsa from her overwhelming pregnancy craving for cereal.

06-20-16_2-47-06 PM

“If I don’t get some fucking Cap’n Crunch right now, I will straight up cut a bitch.”

Slim breathes a sigh of relief, while Elsa stuffs her face.

06-20-16_2-48-05 PM

No idea what’s going on with Slim’s face in this pic.

Now that she’s eaten, Elsa is in a much better mood. As they’re getting up to leave, Slim decides it’s now or never. He asks her to wait a moment, gets down on one knee…
06-20-16_2-51-40 PM

And pulls a ring out of his pocket. “Elsa Bjergsen, I am so happy to be the father of your child. I can’t wait to start our new life together. Will you marry me?”
06-20-16_2-52-37 PM

She says, yes, natch.
06-20-16_2-53-31 PM

Slim stands up again and leans in to kiss her. What a beautiful, happy moment.
06-20-16_2-53-51 PM

Which Elsa promptly ruins by jumping up into Slim’s arms. I’m loving the look of sheer panic on his face. At this point in her pregnancy, she weighs more than him, and her sudden, impulsive leap almost sends both of them toppling onto the floor.

06-20-16_2-54-21 PM

Also… Is Melody on a ladydate with that scantily clad woman back there?? Or is she just a scantily clad friend?

The next day, Elsa is looking pretty damn pregnant. She’s due any day now.

06-21-16_2-10-01 PM

Nothing like a bathroom grilled cheese to satisfy those pregnancy cravings.

Not wanting their baby to be born out of wedlock, she and Slim do what any sensible young couple would do… They head to Oasis Springs for a spur of the moment wedding at the Las Hearts Wedding Chapel, which was built by JessiL, in case you were wondering. I’ve slightly modified it in my game.

06-21-16_2-43-19 PM

For instance, that tacky arch that doesn’t fit with any of the other decor was definitely my doing. A year later, I am not sure what I was thinking when I added that.

The guests start filing in. Here’s Melody, who has made the very bold decision to wear a slutty ballerina costume to her son’s wedding. Also attending are the Bjergsen family, who are meeting their daughter’s fiance and his family for the first time at this wedding. This should be interesting.
06-21-16_2-52-30 PM

Slim takes his place at the wedding arch inside the chapel.

06-21-16_2-45-40 PM

Which, thankfully, looks slightly less tacky than the one outside.

Outside, Elsa takes a deep breath. Is she really ready to marry into this family? She could back out right now. She could hop a bus to San Myshuno. It’s not too late…
06-21-16_2-46-51 PM

But Elsa remembers all the good times she’s had with Slim. Even on that first day when she caught him burning stuff at the ruins, she knew they would be together.

01-10-16_5-29-54 PM

Look, she was going through a CC phase back then, okay? Don’t judge. Like you didn’t dress weird when you were a teenager.

Her resolve strengthened, she heads inside the chapel to walk down the aisle.

06-21-16_2-48-29 PM

I swear she really does want to do this. She’s just uncomfortable, you know, because there’s a person growing inside of her.

She joins her soon to be husband at the altar. Even more so than usual, Slim is looking smooth as fuck.
06-21-16_2-50-13 PM

Slim reaches out to take Elsa’s hand and begins to recite his vows, which he wrote himself. Note that I did not actually bother to write the aforementioned vows, because fuck that, but I assure you they were beautiful and heartfelt.

06-21-16_2-49-52 PM

Honestly I just needed an excuse to include this picture, because it’s so freaking cute OMG.

Having heard Vincenzo’s vows, Elsa’s pre-wedding uncertainty has dissolved. She recites her vows with love and sincerity, and they are just as beautiful as Slim’s words, and I did not bother to write those either.

06-21-16_2-50-34 PM

Look, if I knew anything about how to have a successful relationship, I probably wouldn’t be spending my free time writing a Sims blog at age 30. Anyway, this picture is also so cute OMG.

The two exchange rings…

06-21-16_2-56-12 PM

Not sure what Iris is doing back there? Also I just noticed she is still not wearing shoes.

…And share their first kiss as a married couple.

06-21-16_2-56-54 PM

Aaaand of course Milt has only just now arrived. Along with… Is that an elderly Bella Goth? WTF even is this wedding.

The newlyweds and their guests head around the side of the chapel to the reception hall for cake and festivities. Everyone is having a great time, basking in the glow of the happy couple. Except Iris, who looks like she’s about to shit herself. She keeps grabbing her belly and making this miserable, panicky face.

06-21-16_3-04-46 PM

“What the fuck did you put in that cake?”

But Iris is not experiencing cake-induced digestive trauma. If only! She’s just felt her first contraction, and she is freaking. The fuck. Out. She heads to the bathroom to collect herself. She is not ready for this.

06-21-16_3-14-15 PM

That look on her face… Just pure resignation.

Next thing you know, Iris is at the hospital, waddling through the double doors to the maternity ward.

06-21-16_3-17-04 PM

I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in pastels before… It’s somehow scarier than all the black she normally wears.

The contractions are happening more and more frequently now. From the look on her face, the pain must be pretty intense.

06-21-16_3-17-57 PM

That belly. Is MASSIVE.

With a look of pure dread on her face, she shuffles over to the birthing… device? What the fuck even is that thing? It looks like some kind of torture device from a sci-fi horror movie.

06-21-16_3-20-09 PM

Sim birth is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen.

Judging by the look on the doctor’s face, I’d say she’s ready for some torture.

06-21-16_3-19-49 PM

Okay, I take it back, this is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen.

Umm, guys? I don’t think this woman is actually a doctor at all. Pretty sure she’s just plucked out a vital organ. The look of pure panic on Iris’ face is not helping to dismiss my suspicions.

06-21-16_3-21-54 PM

The nurse seems pretty chill about it, though.

LADY, WHAT THE FUCK.

06-21-16_3-23-08 PM

The miracle of life ❤

Miraculously, Iris’ baby is born healthy and unharmed!

06-21-16_3-25-45 PM

And not blue!

It’s a girl! Welcome to the world, baby Skye! Looks like Slut Club has just recruited its first junior member. Iris has somehow not only changed out of her hospital gown, but into a completely different outfit than what she wore to the wedding. She reluctantly picks up her new little bundle of joy for the first time.

06-21-16_3-26-21 PM

Despite every bone in her body screaming, “NOPE.”

As she holds her distastefully pastel-clad baby in her arms, Iris’s black, icy heart begins to thaw a little. Just a little. Let’s not get carried away. But, maybe she can handle having this little one around after all.

06-21-16_3-26-36 PM

For now.

Aaaand, that was the last picture I took for this chapter, so I guess this is where it ends. The previous chapter said to expect Kaiden’s wedding, but we got Slim’s instead since his babymomma got pregnant earlier than Kaiden’s. I guess… Next time? Maybe? Who even knows. I don’t plan this shit out ahead of time.

I’m not even going to attempt to predict when I’ll update this series next. Y’all are just going to have to be patient if you’re only in this for the Gross family action (that unintentionally sounded… well, gross). I can say, though, that I’m currently working on another challenge, with at least one additional challenge planned for the future. So if you’re up for something different, stay tuned!

I’ll leave you with this blooper reel shot from Slim’s wedding. Right in the middle of saying their vows, Iris was like “SUP GUYS.” Love that side eye Slim’s giving her.

06-21-16_2-53-48 PM

“For fuck’s sake, Iris, for just one day can you not be the center of attention?”

Thank you for reading, as always. Until next time, happy Simming!

Breed Out the Ugly Challenge: Chapter 11 – Babymakin’

Standard

Lol guys, I’m gonna delete the word “soon” from my personal dictionary. Thank you for your patience. I’m finally back after a much-needed break, ready to kick off this next chapter. Only, I actually started writing this two or maybe even three months ago (holy shit, it’s really been that long?) so I took all of these pictures and have very little recollection of what actually happened, so… Enjoy the ensuing shitshow! 😀

You may recall that in Chapter 10, Slim and Kaiden finally aged up.

03-19-16_8-53-47 PM

Also, Kaiden got a girlfriend, and she is totally DTW as soon as she ages up.

Also, some other stuff happened. I’d like to finally get this chapter written, so I’m not going to bother with a huge recap today. If you need a refresher, feel free to click on the link above.

So let’s see where this chapter takes us! We’ll start with Iris, who is stepping into her lovely little tudor house for the first time.
03-29-16_7-52-46 PM

It’s… pretty bare right now. But sufficiently gloomy.

03-31-16_4-19-12 PM

Also, I should fess up to “cheating” by using copious amounts of CC, like the old fashioned cupboard shown above that functions as a fridge, and costs way less than a real fridge… It fit better with the decor? 😀

There’s a little bedroom upstairs. Nothing too fancy, as Iris can’t afford much at the moment.
03-31-16_4-19-45 PM

But she does have her trusty computer, so she can continue to move up in her writing career.
03-31-16_4-20-57 PM

But enough of that! You didn’t come here to watch Iris write. We all know you’re here for the babymaking, so let’s get to it. She heads outside to see if there are any unsuspecting men around. Sure enough, she finds this redheaded chap right outside her house.

03-31-16_4-38-40 PM.png

Guys, holy shit is it difficult to get the camera to zoom in properly in this part of the neighborhood.

With eight charisma skills, it’s not hard for Iris to work her magic on him.
03-31-16_4-40-31 PM

I mean, who can resist this beautiful face?

03-31-16_4-43-00 PM

H. O. T. T.

Within no time, she’s got him eating out of the palm of her hand.

03-31-16_4-44-20 PM

Oh my god. Seriously, it took me forever to get the camera angled so that this shot wasn’t super zoomed out.

She does notice that he’s got a few… odd mannerisms.

03-31-16_4-38-06 PM

Like, for real, what is he even doing right now.

But she’s determined to complete her aspiration. She still needs to kiss a few more people. Here’s kiss number eight!

03-31-16_4-45-04 PM

Her nose actually got stuck in his face, so her lips couldn’t quite reach his. The game still counted it, though.

For some infuriating reason, the woohoo option on Iris’s bed absolutely will not function. So these two make their way to the closet for some unromantic, dusty woohoo.

03-31-16_4-58-33 PM

Conveniently for Iris, this guy’s fetish is actually the smell of mothballs.

Suddenly, sparks start shooting out from between the slats in the doors. Iris had completely forgotten that this closet is where she stores her leftover fireworks…

03-31-16_4-59-14 PM

Either that, or the game developers were at a loss for creative ways to portray the climax during closet woohoo.

Luckily, no Sims were injured during the making of this chapter. Wait a second… Is… Is he glowing pink?
03-31-16_4-59-33 PM

Well, that explains his odd behavior earlier. Turns out Iris just got it on with a bona fide, honest to goodness alien! She doesn’t mind. The woohoo was that good.

03-31-16_5-00-01 PM

You might even say it was… out of this world? (I’M SO SORRY.) (NO I’M NOT.)

Emboldened by this close encounter, Iris isn’t ready to call it a night yet. She puts on her favorite slutty goth outfit and heads to the nearby nightclub to see if she can find Kiss #9. This mysterious, masked DJ seems promising. She tries out the new “enchanting introduction” she just unlocked when she reached charisma level 9.

03-31-16_5-07-28 PM

Apparently it involves throwing up her arms and somehow magically engulfing the recipient in a bunch of hearts?

Her weird introduction totally enchanted him, and he is putty in her hands. And more importantly, he’s kiss number nine!

03-31-16_5-13-09 PM

Not to mention by far the weirdest first kiss photo featured in this challenge so far.

And so the two young lovers make their way to the nearest closet, because Iris can’t seem to get enough of that closet woohoo. Never mind the bartender over there. I’m sure she won’t notice.

03-31-16_5-15-25 PM
Just kidding, she totally noticed, and she’s totally voyeuristically getting off to it.

03-31-16_5-15-46 PM

“Why do you think I put that closet within view of the bar in the first place?”

By this time, it’s 7:00 in the morning, and Iris decides to head home. But she’s so close to her goal of kissing ten sims. She can’t give up now! So she stops to chat up the Partihaus boys on the way home.

03-31-16_5-23-49 PM

I mean, they named their house Partihaus. There’s got to be at least one person in there who’s down to woohoo.

Inside, she manages to pry Paulo away from his excessively huge arcade game and flirt with him.
03-31-16_5-25-29 PM

He is not easy to woo, possibly because he keeps trying to pee and Iris keeps stopping him before he makes it to the bathroom. After hours of flirting (and finally letting him take a bathroom break), she finally snags that tenth kiss.

03-31-16_5-32-48 PM

Once again, her lips don’t reach.

Now that she’s completed the Romance Juggler level of her aspiration, she’s on the fourth and final level. Her new goal is to have had eight boyfriends. She’s only had two so far, so she asks Paulo to go steady. He readily says yes, and they do a little happy dance together.

03-31-16_5-34-24 PM

Oh, Paulo, if only you knew.

Iris is getting tired, but she figures, why not go for her third woohoo in twenty-four hours? It would break her personal record. As long as it’s not in a fucking closet again.

03-31-16_5-35-22 PM

Or, I should say, not fucking in a closet again.

Having woohoo’d so much recently, Iris decides that she’d better take a pregnancy test. And Paulo… decides to watch?

03-31-16_5-36-44 PM

Whatever gets you off, man. I’m not here to kinkshame.

In case the confetti didn’t clue him in, Iris breaks the news to Paulo that she is, indeed, pregnant. He reacts about as favorably as you’d expect a member of Partihaus to.

03-31-16_5-37-48 PM

Cheer up, Paulo! Maybe it’s not yours?

Suddenly feeling unwelcome at the Partihaus, Iris heads home to finally get some sleep.

• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Well, now that we’ve seen what Iris is up to, let’s check in on Milton.

03-29-16_7-59-19 PM

Who, for some reason, is carrying a stack of dirty dishes into his new home.

Milton is settling into his new desert home nicely. He’s got the day off work, and Yuki won’t be off work for hours, so he spends the day chatting up a local woman named Josie.
03-31-16_6-07-45 PM

Milt is just not that good at being a player, so he’s pretty far behind his big sister in his Serial Romantic aspiration. One of his current goals is to have three strong romantic relationships at once. He’s hoping Josie here can help him out.
03-31-16_6-13-59 PM

She does not disappoint! Not only does she help him complete that goal, she also becomes Kiss #2 for Milton. He’s still got a long way to go before he reaches ten, but it’s a start. He also asks her to be his girlfriend, because eventually he’s going to need to fulfill that “have had eight boyfriends or girlfriends” goal, too.
03-31-16_6-18-38 PM

A few hours pass, and now Yuki is off work. Milton invites her over, and before they even make it through the door he gives her a passionate kiss. Unfortunately, they’ve already kissed, so it doesn’t count for his tally.

03-31-16_6-22-36 PM

Not that he’s complaining.

Things quickly lead to woohoo, after which the two lovebirds fall asleep.

03-31-16_6-24-02 PM

I don’t know why he always makes this face during woohoo. It’s really unsettling.

Milton goes about his next day as normal. He’s really strapped for cash, so he does some digging for precious metals to earn a little extra money.

03-31-16_6-35-47 PM

Unfortunately, all he gets are those stupid MySims trophies. Someone explain to me how the capsule they’re held in usually sells for more money than the actual trophy?

He’s got a little time before work, so he introduces himself to a random pretty lady. Last night he earned enough charisma points to unlock the “flirty introduction”, so he decides to try it out.

03-31-16_6-36-35 PM

The look on her face should tell you all how well it worked.

But he doesn’t have long to chat, and soon he has to head off to work.

03-31-16_6-38-31 PM

He looks like an angry bird, doesn’t he?

After work, Milton spends his evening flirting with various ladies. This one’s quite a looker!

03-31-16_6-42-54 PM

She is also evil. Fun fact.

But before he can get too far with his latest attempted conquest, he sees Yuki approaching. He makes up some bullshit excuse to convince his new “friend” to leave quickly. Just in the nick of time! Yuki almost caught him. Juggling all these women is stressful!

Yuki’s all dressed up for some reason. Milton figures, since he’s still dressed up for work, why not go on a date? Also, is it just me, or does it look like Yuki’s put on some weight recently?

03-31-16_6-49-35 PM

And also, does she look extremely uncomfortable to anyone else? Perhaps like she’s having severe back pain?

Yeah… She’s definitely gained some weight. But Milton doesn’t care. More to love, right? He likes women of all shapes and sizes.
03-31-16_6-50-58 PM

After another woohoo session, Milt and Yuki enjoy some scrambled eggs in the kitchen. And that’s when Yuki drops the bomb. She’s pregnant!

03-31-16_6-29-20 PM

“Whaaaaat?!”

After Milton recovers from the shock, Milton decides he had better take responsibility for his actions. He invites Yuki to move in.
03-31-16_8-33-22 PM

Well, so much for Milt’s swingin’ bachelor pad. Looks like Milt will have to carry on his affairs much more carefully from here on out.

• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Now it’s time to check up on everyone’s favorite Eminem lookalike, Vincenzo. Here he is crossing the threshold of his brand new house in Newcrest.
03-29-16_11-46-32 PM

And here he is displaying a horrifying disregard for the laws of physics.

03-29-16_11-46-41 PM

😥

But wait, Slim’s not the only one moving in today… Elsa is all grown up and ready to take the next step in her relationship with Slim.

03-31-16_9-40-51 PM

Although, judging by her expression, maybe not as ready as she thought? Or maybe she’s just wary of the door after what just happened to Slim.

In case anyone’s interested, here’s a shot of the layout first floor of their new house. Nothing fancy for now, just a kitchen and one big, open room, and a table and chairs.
04-02-16_2-44-15 PM

And here’s the second floor. Just a bedroom and tiny bathroom. But it will be nice to spend time outside on the balcony! I actually kind of like how simple this house is. It reminds me of some of the campus rental houses in Sims 2 University.

04-02-16_2-44-25 PM

Which, by the way, I have been feeling super nostalgic for lately. Would anyone be interested in seeing some Sims 2 action on this blog? …I kind of might do it anyway.

The young couple are exhausted from moving, so they sit down at their new dining table to have a quick dinner. Slim must be feeling homesick – He’s whipped up some grilled cheese, just like his mom would make.

04-02-16_2-46-28 PM

Or possibly that’s just the only thing his cooking skill will allow him to make without burning down his new house.

The next morning, Slim steps out the door to head to his first day on the job as a Palette Cleaner. Dressed like a goddamn banana hipster, because fuck everything.

04-02-16_2-50-16 PM

Seriously, how is this his work uniform?

Elsa has taken a job in the Business career track as a Mailroom Technician, but she’s not scheduled to work today. What’s a girl to do on her day off? She decides to use her free time to get a leg up on the competition and file reports for work. But there’s no computer at the house, so she heads to the library.

04-02-16_2-55-27 PM

No idea what’s going on with the librarian sitting across from her.

Just as she finishes her reports, she spots Melody practicing chess maneuvers by the window. She figures this is the perfect opportunity to score some brownie points with her boyfriend’s mom, so she challenges her to a game.
04-02-16_2-58-15 PM

After losing to Melody, Elsa heads back to her own neighborhood to explore the area. She and Slim are broke, so she goes digging for whatever random shit she can find to sell.
04-02-16_3-02-46 PM

While Elsa’s out digging, Slim arrives home from work feeling tense, probably because he’s been forced to look down at that godawful yellow disaster he decided to wear today.

04-02-16_3-11-57 PM

God, that sweater. It’s like someone tried to dye it with highlighter ink. It matches his hair nicely, though!

He and Elsa unwind by taking a nice, relaxing shower together. Afterwards, Slim’s still feeling tense. But even though the shower didn’t cure Slim’s stress, Elsa might be able to…

04-02-16_3-21-14 PM

Though probably make sure you’re not impaling his torso with your hand, Elsa dear.

Finally, the moment they’ve both been waiting for since the they met at the ruins. Now that they’re adults, it’s time for their first woohoo.
04-02-16_3-21-57 PM

And we all know this wasn’t just an ordinary woohoo. You guys have been chomping at the bit to see what Slim’s kids will look like since he aged up to a teen. These two woohoo’d with every intent to procreate. Well, mission accomplished! Elsa’s got the awkwardly framed confetti squat photo to prove it.

04-02-16_3-24-31 PM

Seriously, what the fuck was I even doing when I took this picture?

She heads back to the bedroom, where Slim is still basking in the afterglow of his first woohoo. When she delivers the good news, he’s absolutely thrilled!

04-02-16_3-25-58 PM

Like, it’s kind of scary how happy he is.

After such an eventful day, the happy couple are understandably tired. They climb into their new bed together and fall asleep in each other’s arms, dreaming of their future non-mutant children.

• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Well, the more functional of the Gross kids seem to be doing well. But what about Kaiden? And for that matter, Melody? Let’s head back to the original Gross House to check in on them.

At first, Melody doesn’t know what to do with all of her new free time. Until one day when she’s struck with the absurd notion that she absolutely must eat a grilled cheese sandwich in space. Because Maxis was seriously grasping at straws for level 3 Grilled Cheese Aspiration goals. BUT FINE, WE’RE DOING IT. So she gets started building a freaking rocket ship, of all things.
04-02-16_4-41-30 PM

Meanwhile, Kaiden’s off to his first day of work as a Live Chat Support Agent. He’s sure to make a good first impression in his Navi shirt.

04-02-16_5-23-33 PM

Clearly there is no dress code at his new office.

After Kaiden leaves, Melody changes into her best dress… and continues to work on the rocket, because it takes fucking forever to build a rocket ship by yourself in your backyard, guys.
04-02-16_5-28-05 PM

After work, Kaiden invites Jessica over for a romantic date at his mom’s house.

04-02-16_5-33-35 PM

They could be down in the sewer, for all she cares. Judging by the look on her face, she is still DTW.

He takes her down to the basement, which normally should be a red flag on a date, but in this case that’s just where Kaiden’s room happens to be located.
04-02-16_5-37-09 PM

Kaiden, still new to this whole talking-to-girls thing, is understandably nervous. Jessica’s been giving him fuck-me eyes all night. It’s pretty obvious what she’s after. Stalling for time, he shows her all of his posters and Zelda memorabilia.

04-02-16_5-40-29 PM

Oddly enough, this seems to only get Jessica going even more.

Feeling confident after impressing his lady with his encyclopedic knowledge of Zelda trivia, Kaiden is starting to relax. He starts rubbing Jessica’s back after showing her his sweet Master Sword art that’s sure to get any lady’s motor running. And, um… his very grown-up wooden chest. Definitely not a toybox, nope. And definitely not full of Zelda dolls action figures.

04-02-16_5-40-56 PM

It’s really a shame that no one’s made a Zelda-style treasure chest that functions as a toybox yet. Hint, hint, CC creators!

Unable to wait any longer, Jessica abruptly turns around and kisses Kaiden.
04-02-16_5-42-18 PM

And then gives him this look. And it looks like he’s finally ready…

04-02-16_5-41-57 PM

Umm, for real though, what is happening with her eyelashes?

Our little Kaiden is finally becoming a man. *Sniff* They grow up so fast!

04-02-16_5-47-19 PM

Actually no, in Kaiden’s case, it’s about damn time.

Kaiden’s first woohoo is about as awkward as you think it would be. At one point, he actually gets kicked in the face.

04-02-16_5-46-19 PM

He looks pretty into it, though?

Afterward, Jessica excuses herself to the bathroom. Where, ummm, this happens…

04-02-16_5-50-46 PM

Not sure if that’s a really happy post-woohoo face, or a pooping face…

Well, would you look at that.

04-02-16_5-51-06 PM

It is actually required by law for all Sim bathrooms to have a confetti machine installed in the ceiling above the toilet…

I bet none of you saw that coming, right? This chapter is totally not formulaic at all.

Jessica heads out into the hall to find Kaiden lurking creepily outside the bathroom. “Ummm, were you out here listening to me peeing? …Nevermind. Kaiden, sweetums, I have something to tell you.”
04-02-16_5-52-34 PM

“I’m pregnant!” Jessica squeals. At first, Kaiden is understandably dismayed.

04-02-16_5-53-03 PM

“My mom’s gonna kill me!”

But once the initial shock wears off, Kaiden is overwhelmed with happiness. He does have the Big Happy Family aspiration, after all. He’ll just be getting started a little sooner than expected.
04-02-16_6-05-20 PM

Kaiden believes in traditional values, so right then and there, he makes a decision. Right there in the hallway, in his bunny slippers and Batman boxers, he gets down on one knobbly knee and asks Jessica to be his wife.

04-02-16_5-59-22 PM

…Where was he keeping that ring?? 😮

Jessica happily accepts. She holds up her hand to admire her shiny new ring.

04-02-16_6-01-38 PM

While Kaiden stays on the floor gawking at her new baby bump.

The two lovebirds share a tender kiss. This is not how Kaiden expected his day to go, but he couldn’t have wished for anything better.

04-02-16_6-02-36 PM

Meanwhile, Jessica privately hopes that their child will be born with her nose…

Kaiden scoops Jessica up into his arms, sending Jessica into a fit of startled giggles.
04-02-16_6-02-58 PM

But she’s a bit heavier now that she’s with child, and he almost drops her.
04-02-16_6-03-09 PM

Once he regains his balance, she gives him that telltale look again. This girl just cannot get enough of Kaiden’s own “master sword” (Heh, heh). Happy to oblige, he carries her back to the bedroom for round two.

04-02-16_6-04-04 PM

Seriously though, I am way too proud of that master sword joke.

• . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . • ° • . •

Whew! Well. That… was a lot of awkward woohooing. But at least this chapter is finally done! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (once I finally got off my ass and decided to finish it, that is) Check back in like, four months for the wedding, babies, and more in Chapter 12. 😉

Until then, happy simming!

I’m totally not dead, guys.

Standard

Hi everyone! I feel bad, it’s been like, two months since I’ve updated. Just wanted to let you all know that I have not abandoned the blog forever. I’ve just needed a break. I do still plan on finishing the challenge. And after that, who knows? I have an idea for a twist on a few different challenges, which hopefully is as ridiculous as it sounds in my head… But for now, I don’t know when the next update will come. Adulting is hard, guys. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for your patience!

Just because this entry feels naked without at least one image, here is a random CAS screenshot of my simself being super classy and sniffing her pits.

02-23-16_6-03-23 PM

The similarities are striking.